Warning: This section is NOT meant as a post to bash or belittle my father(s), merely my reflections about my own readings.
As I've mentioned previously, I've been reading the book Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge and all I can say is "WOW!" I think they wrote it just for me. If you have not had the opportunity to read or hear of this book, I would certainly check it out at your local library. God has used it to reveal to me so much about my past and my father(s) that I have never understood before. I'm currently on Chapter six and it is asking me to forgive all the people that have wounded me and caused me to have scars. That's a pretty major undertaking for me. I have countless scars on top of scars that I have chosen to cover up and not deal with. The Eldredges say that forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. First you forgive, then later the feeling of forgiveness comes. I want my choice to forgive to be whole-hearted (not just, ok I forgive you b/c I'm suppose to), so I am continuing to pray over this as I read.
Next, they address the correlation between your relationship with your earthly father to how you view our Heavenly Father. For me, this was profound. I had heard this before, but hearing it from another woman, in the SAME WORDS I felt, shook me. Here's an excerpt from the book and I totally identify with these words...(again, this is NOT a bashing session)..
As I've mentioned previously, I've been reading the book Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge and all I can say is "WOW!" I think they wrote it just for me. If you have not had the opportunity to read or hear of this book, I would certainly check it out at your local library. God has used it to reveal to me so much about my past and my father(s) that I have never understood before. I'm currently on Chapter six and it is asking me to forgive all the people that have wounded me and caused me to have scars. That's a pretty major undertaking for me. I have countless scars on top of scars that I have chosen to cover up and not deal with. The Eldredges say that forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. First you forgive, then later the feeling of forgiveness comes. I want my choice to forgive to be whole-hearted (not just, ok I forgive you b/c I'm suppose to), so I am continuing to pray over this as I read.
Next, they address the correlation between your relationship with your earthly father to how you view our Heavenly Father. For me, this was profound. I had heard this before, but hearing it from another woman, in the SAME WORDS I felt, shook me. Here's an excerpt from the book and I totally identify with these words...(again, this is NOT a bashing session)..
I was looking at my heavenly Father through the lenses of my experiences with my own father. And for me, that meant my heavenly Father was distant, aloof, unavailable, hard to please, easily disappointed, quick to anger and often hard to predict. True, I wanted to please him. But since God the Father was, to me, hard to fathom and not especially inviting, my relationship with God centered on my relationship with his Son. Jesus liked me. I wasn't so sure about his dad. (Captivating, p. 106-107)
Wow! Can I just say that I feel the EXACT same way? I mean, I'd never considered that before, that I based my relationship with God on my relationship with Jesus, because I saw Jesus differently.
I haven't read past this paragraph, because I just keep reading those words over and over and over again. I am so amazed that God is using this to reveal to me that he is IS loving, nurturing and in all aspects of the word a Father.
Just so you know, both of my fathers, biological and step, are good men. However, my relationship with my "real" dad is strained and has been for many years. My relationship with my step-dad is good, but started off rocky (I was 12 when he married my mom). Both of them, I do believe, would die for me. I do have many scars because of past things and I am praying for the guidance that only God can give on how to handle, proceed and carry on a healthy, loving relationship with both men.
Wow! Can I just say that I feel the EXACT same way? I mean, I'd never considered that before, that I based my relationship with God on my relationship with Jesus, because I saw Jesus differently.
I haven't read past this paragraph, because I just keep reading those words over and over and over again. I am so amazed that God is using this to reveal to me that he is IS loving, nurturing and in all aspects of the word a Father.
Just so you know, both of my fathers, biological and step, are good men. However, my relationship with my "real" dad is strained and has been for many years. My relationship with my step-dad is good, but started off rocky (I was 12 when he married my mom). Both of them, I do believe, would die for me. I do have many scars because of past things and I am praying for the guidance that only God can give on how to handle, proceed and carry on a healthy, loving relationship with both men.