The kids are home from the pool (they went last minute with MeMe and PawPaw). The house is quiet. I've had some time to think about this baby. I've been able to speak with other people involved and I'm struggling to find balance.
At what point do I allow my heart to surrender all and love this baby? At what point do I remain guarded, just in case. As I sit in the silence of my house I think about baby cries that will soon fill the air, I struggle to know how much is enough. How much is too much?
In my mind, I've likened these last few weeks to those of a pregnancy. Those last precious weeks where you are desperate for the baby to get here, yet overwhelmed at the thought of having a tiny person to care for.
The social worker just called and said that it will be tomorrow morning before the baby is discharged from the hospital. New emotions surface as I realize that this little guy is in the hospital, getting only the attention required. It's hard not to fall in love, and I've never even seen his precious face. I know that God already knows. I know the path has already been seen by the most amazing One. I know that he is being held in the hands of the Almighty. Jeremiah 29:11 races through my mind. He knows the plans, He knows the future and the most beautiful part yet is, He knows my heart.
At what point do I allow my heart to surrender all and love this baby? At what point do I remain guarded, just in case. As I sit in the silence of my house I think about baby cries that will soon fill the air, I struggle to know how much is enough. How much is too much?
In my mind, I've likened these last few weeks to those of a pregnancy. Those last precious weeks where you are desperate for the baby to get here, yet overwhelmed at the thought of having a tiny person to care for.
The social worker just called and said that it will be tomorrow morning before the baby is discharged from the hospital. New emotions surface as I realize that this little guy is in the hospital, getting only the attention required. It's hard not to fall in love, and I've never even seen his precious face. I know that God already knows. I know the path has already been seen by the most amazing One. I know that he is being held in the hands of the Almighty. Jeremiah 29:11 races through my mind. He knows the plans, He knows the future and the most beautiful part yet is, He knows my heart.