I've been going through a dry spell lately. Hopefully, I'm not the only believer on the planet who experiences this, so some of you can relate. Basically, I've not made time for God lately. Other things, that are so obviously not important, have edged their way into my time with Him. The part that really perturbs me is that it is stupid stuff. You know, things like creating a new blog header, cleaning my house, or better yet, napping. I feel like I can almost justify the napping considering that I have a newborn in the house. Just last night, Baby D decided that he wanted to be awake from 3:00am - 4:45am. He wasn't fussy, he just wanted to be awake and be held. Part of me can almost justify the cleaning, have you been to my house lately? However, I know that even these things, justifiable as they may be, are just another thing separating me from the blessings I could be receiving from time with Him.
A few years ago, I honestly don't remember if it was after Elizabeth was born or when the twins were born, my friend Emily and I were talking about being a mom and having quiet time (or for me, the lack thereof). Emily, being the wise, wise woman she is, offered me a different perspective. She said, "Jessica, in this season of your life, God truly knows the desires of your heart. He knows how much you have going on. Make your day constant worship to Him, while you mother your children." That spoke such volumes to me. I know that God cares about details because He's shown me that time and time again. Yet, this time it's different.
Yes, I'm suffering from lack of sleep. Yes, I have 4 children under 4 in my home. But in all honesty, those things aren't what's keeping me from Him. It's purely me. I feel like I go through spurts of intense study. I will go weeks and immerse myself in God's word, gulping in the freshness of the Spirit that is feeding me as much as I can take. Then, without warning, it fades. I begin to go a day or two without picking up my Bible. Those two days turn into a week, and before I know it, it's Sunday morning and I'm frantically searching the house for my Bible, because I have no clue where I last put it. Finally, I discover it, still in the car from last Sunday.
Where is the balance in my life? Where can I find that perfect harmony between too much and not enough? How can I orchestrate my days so that God is my #1 priority? Out loud I say that God is at the top of my ever growing list. However, my actions do not truly portray that. I certainly put my family, house and even computer time ahead of my Savior. As I struggle with it all, I am reminded of my life verse. Philippians 3:12-14 pretty much hits me like a ton of bricks each and every time I read it.
A few years ago, I honestly don't remember if it was after Elizabeth was born or when the twins were born, my friend Emily and I were talking about being a mom and having quiet time (or for me, the lack thereof). Emily, being the wise, wise woman she is, offered me a different perspective. She said, "Jessica, in this season of your life, God truly knows the desires of your heart. He knows how much you have going on. Make your day constant worship to Him, while you mother your children." That spoke such volumes to me. I know that God cares about details because He's shown me that time and time again. Yet, this time it's different.
Yes, I'm suffering from lack of sleep. Yes, I have 4 children under 4 in my home. But in all honesty, those things aren't what's keeping me from Him. It's purely me. I feel like I go through spurts of intense study. I will go weeks and immerse myself in God's word, gulping in the freshness of the Spirit that is feeding me as much as I can take. Then, without warning, it fades. I begin to go a day or two without picking up my Bible. Those two days turn into a week, and before I know it, it's Sunday morning and I'm frantically searching the house for my Bible, because I have no clue where I last put it. Finally, I discover it, still in the car from last Sunday.
Where is the balance in my life? Where can I find that perfect harmony between too much and not enough? How can I orchestrate my days so that God is my #1 priority? Out loud I say that God is at the top of my ever growing list. However, my actions do not truly portray that. I certainly put my family, house and even computer time ahead of my Savior. As I struggle with it all, I am reminded of my life verse. Philippians 3:12-14 pretty much hits me like a ton of bricks each and every time I read it.
I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back.
~The Message
~The Message
When I read those words, I'm reminded just how far I've come in my walk. I'm reminded that when I first began, I would go months without reading my Bible, and never feel convicted until someone or something pointed it out. Now, a few days without my God time and I'm thirsting for it. Maybe I go through drys spells so that I can see how far I've come. Maybe I go through them to see how much further I have to go. Either way, I know that I'm a work in progress. My walk with Christ changes daily. I am truly off and running, and I'm not turning back. Now....where's my Bible?