I've prayed and thought a lot about my emotions with yesterday's news concerning Baby D. Here's what I've come up with:
I don't want D to ever look back at his life and ask himself (or anyone else)
Why wouldn't my birth parents fight for me? Why wasn't I good enough?
I've asked myself these questions throughout my life and it's heartbreaking what these thoughts, these emotions and Satan's lies can do to your spirit. I think the reason I'm so angry with his birth parents is because one day, regardless of his final forever home, he'll have these questions surface and the emotion tied to them will cut his heart and leave scars. I never want him to feel that pain. Now, he will.
With that said, I've decided that I am going to take 10 minutes of each of my days this weekend (Friday, Saturday and Sunday) and pray specifically for D's birth parents. I ask you, that if God impresses it upon your heart, that you would join me.
I ask specifically that if you feel lead, to pray that they would be drawn to our Creator. That his birth parents would feel the love of the Father, the redeeming power of the Savior and the joy in a new life with Him.
Part of me doesn't want to post this because I know prayer works. I know that if I ask all of you to pray, and if you do, God may answer my request. With that, it may mean that they get their lives back together and he may return to them. However, I know that my God is big. I know that His love is endless and I know that I will never be able to begin loving these people if I do not submit to His desire. For now, I feel His desire is for me to pray for them.
I must put my own selfish desires aside and pray. Ultimately, my heart would forever rejoice if two more people joined the kingdom of God.
So, if you feel called, please offer up prayer on behalf of Baby D's birth parents, J and M. I appreciate you all so much and I know that, regardless of the final outcome, God is good, His power is mighty and His love forever faithful.
Thank you so much.
Father, my God~
I am so unworthy of your love, your redemptive grace and your mercy. Father, you truly know the desires of my heart when it comes to Baby D's forever home. However Lord, I will be obedient to you. You have placed in my heart an ache for D's mother. You have offered to me a Savior worthy of nothing I can give. Lord God, reach into their lives, make their hearts receptive and their souls willing. Lord speak to them, just as you spoke to me almost 6 years ago. Draw them into your love and help them to see that a life in you is the only life worth living.
Lord, these prayers may bring consequences that I do not want to face. But God, I know that you are bigger than my broken heart and, Lord God, if it's your desire to return D to his birth parents, Father you will heal me and draw me to you, providing me the peace that only you can bring. Father, I love and praise you and ask in Jesus' name that you reach these people for your kingdom. Thank you for my salvation. I love you. Amen.
I don't want D to ever look back at his life and ask himself (or anyone else)
Why wouldn't my birth parents fight for me? Why wasn't I good enough?
I've asked myself these questions throughout my life and it's heartbreaking what these thoughts, these emotions and Satan's lies can do to your spirit. I think the reason I'm so angry with his birth parents is because one day, regardless of his final forever home, he'll have these questions surface and the emotion tied to them will cut his heart and leave scars. I never want him to feel that pain. Now, he will.
With that said, I've decided that I am going to take 10 minutes of each of my days this weekend (Friday, Saturday and Sunday) and pray specifically for D's birth parents. I ask you, that if God impresses it upon your heart, that you would join me.
I ask specifically that if you feel lead, to pray that they would be drawn to our Creator. That his birth parents would feel the love of the Father, the redeeming power of the Savior and the joy in a new life with Him.
Part of me doesn't want to post this because I know prayer works. I know that if I ask all of you to pray, and if you do, God may answer my request. With that, it may mean that they get their lives back together and he may return to them. However, I know that my God is big. I know that His love is endless and I know that I will never be able to begin loving these people if I do not submit to His desire. For now, I feel His desire is for me to pray for them.
I must put my own selfish desires aside and pray. Ultimately, my heart would forever rejoice if two more people joined the kingdom of God.
So, if you feel called, please offer up prayer on behalf of Baby D's birth parents, J and M. I appreciate you all so much and I know that, regardless of the final outcome, God is good, His power is mighty and His love forever faithful.
Thank you so much.
The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."
~ Zephaniah 3:17
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."
~ Zephaniah 3:17
Father, my God~
I am so unworthy of your love, your redemptive grace and your mercy. Father, you truly know the desires of my heart when it comes to Baby D's forever home. However Lord, I will be obedient to you. You have placed in my heart an ache for D's mother. You have offered to me a Savior worthy of nothing I can give. Lord God, reach into their lives, make their hearts receptive and their souls willing. Lord speak to them, just as you spoke to me almost 6 years ago. Draw them into your love and help them to see that a life in you is the only life worth living.
Lord, these prayers may bring consequences that I do not want to face. But God, I know that you are bigger than my broken heart and, Lord God, if it's your desire to return D to his birth parents, Father you will heal me and draw me to you, providing me the peace that only you can bring. Father, I love and praise you and ask in Jesus' name that you reach these people for your kingdom. Thank you for my salvation. I love you. Amen.