The craziest thing about being a foster mom is the realization that this person you love isn't REALLY yours. I mean, cognitively I know that. My heart doesn't seem to get the point.
When I hold Baby D, I think about my son. When I kiss his fat, round cheeks I think about my son. However, every Monday and Thursday, for 2.5 hours, I'm reminded that he's NOT my son. I am required to load him into the car of a social worker and allow him to be driven away.
When I hold Baby Girl, I feel love. When I kiss her soft head, smell her hair (yes, she has LOTS) and feed her at 3am, I feel love. When I talk to the social worker about how the visit went with birth mom, I'm reminded she's not my daughter.
However, these things I can tolerate. What pushes me to my limits is when birth parents decide to do (or say) things that, in my opinion, they have no right to do (or say).
For example, last Monday Baby D came home from a visit. I was at the hospital picking up Baby Girl, so Luke had the chance to speak with the social worker. Upon Baby D's return, the social worker tells Luke that the birth parents gave Baby D GRAPE JUICE. Are you kidding me?
This is further proof that God is in control. Had I been home, I'm not sure what I would have said. Thank you Lord for allowing my much calmer, more level headed husband to receive this news.
Now, if you're not a baby person, what you may not realize is that 4 month olds rarely need juice. You have the occasional baby who is extra constipated and needs the encouragement. Baby D is not one of those babies. At any rate, you usually offer these "backed up" babies Apple Juice and on rare occasion, Prune Juice.
NEVER GRAPE JUICE!!!
Grape juice is so completely NOT the first thing you introduce to a 4 month old. At least they had sense enough to dilute it. Baby D was incredibly fussy the rest of the afternoon (requiring being held...NOT good when you have a newborn) AND for the first time in 2 weeks, he woke up off and on throughout the night.
I cannot tell you how ticked I was. I'm over it now.
My encounters with birth parents does not end there. Oh no! On Friday, Baby Girl had her first visit with birth mom. When the social worker (same one) returned her to our home, she told me that birth mom said,
"From now on, when she goes out, can you make sure she has on a hat AND socks."
My blood still boils just thinking about it. Are you stinkin' kidding me?
This woman, who had her child taken from her because she COULD NOT REFRAIN FROM ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES WHILE PREGNANT, is asking me to please protect her baby with a hat and socks.
(For the record, it was a little chilly out, however, Baby Girl had on a onesie WITH a fleece-like jumpsuit on, PLUS a heavy blanket.)
I think there are still teeth marks in my tongue.
Over the last few years, God has emphasized patience, silence and refrain from harsh words. Never have so many reminders of scripture flown through my brain than at the moment the social worker uttered these words to me.
On another note, this week will be a crazy one. Baby D and Baby Girl both have visits on Monday, and we have Classical. On Wednesday, some dear friends return from Africa, on Thursday Baby D goes for another visit and on Friday we have doctor appointments for Baby D's 4 month check up (which means shots) and a weight check for Baby Girl.
Whew! I'm exhausted already. The good news is that Luke and I finally broke down and we hired someone to come clean our house. Okay, Luke broke down. I would have went for this YEARS ago.
She starts Monday. I CANNOT tell you how much I am looking forward to coming in from Classical on Monday to a fresh, clean house.
I smile just thinking about it. No more ring around the toilet, no more crunchies in the carpet, no more toothpaste dribble on the mirror, just....clean. For one day (okay maybe just until nap time is over), I will enjoy clean.
Ahhhhhhh.....maybe next week won't be so bad after all...as long as birth parents don't do anything crazy.
When I hold Baby D, I think about my son. When I kiss his fat, round cheeks I think about my son. However, every Monday and Thursday, for 2.5 hours, I'm reminded that he's NOT my son. I am required to load him into the car of a social worker and allow him to be driven away.
When I hold Baby Girl, I feel love. When I kiss her soft head, smell her hair (yes, she has LOTS) and feed her at 3am, I feel love. When I talk to the social worker about how the visit went with birth mom, I'm reminded she's not my daughter.
However, these things I can tolerate. What pushes me to my limits is when birth parents decide to do (or say) things that, in my opinion, they have no right to do (or say).
For example, last Monday Baby D came home from a visit. I was at the hospital picking up Baby Girl, so Luke had the chance to speak with the social worker. Upon Baby D's return, the social worker tells Luke that the birth parents gave Baby D GRAPE JUICE. Are you kidding me?
This is further proof that God is in control. Had I been home, I'm not sure what I would have said. Thank you Lord for allowing my much calmer, more level headed husband to receive this news.
Now, if you're not a baby person, what you may not realize is that 4 month olds rarely need juice. You have the occasional baby who is extra constipated and needs the encouragement. Baby D is not one of those babies. At any rate, you usually offer these "backed up" babies Apple Juice and on rare occasion, Prune Juice.
NEVER GRAPE JUICE!!!
Grape juice is so completely NOT the first thing you introduce to a 4 month old. At least they had sense enough to dilute it. Baby D was incredibly fussy the rest of the afternoon (requiring being held...NOT good when you have a newborn) AND for the first time in 2 weeks, he woke up off and on throughout the night.
I cannot tell you how ticked I was. I'm over it now.
My encounters with birth parents does not end there. Oh no! On Friday, Baby Girl had her first visit with birth mom. When the social worker (same one) returned her to our home, she told me that birth mom said,
"From now on, when she goes out, can you make sure she has on a hat AND socks."
My blood still boils just thinking about it. Are you stinkin' kidding me?
This woman, who had her child taken from her because she COULD NOT REFRAIN FROM ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES WHILE PREGNANT, is asking me to please protect her baby with a hat and socks.
(For the record, it was a little chilly out, however, Baby Girl had on a onesie WITH a fleece-like jumpsuit on, PLUS a heavy blanket.)
I think there are still teeth marks in my tongue.
Over the last few years, God has emphasized patience, silence and refrain from harsh words. Never have so many reminders of scripture flown through my brain than at the moment the social worker uttered these words to me.
On another note, this week will be a crazy one. Baby D and Baby Girl both have visits on Monday, and we have Classical. On Wednesday, some dear friends return from Africa, on Thursday Baby D goes for another visit and on Friday we have doctor appointments for Baby D's 4 month check up (which means shots) and a weight check for Baby Girl.
Whew! I'm exhausted already. The good news is that Luke and I finally broke down and we hired someone to come clean our house. Okay, Luke broke down. I would have went for this YEARS ago.
She starts Monday. I CANNOT tell you how much I am looking forward to coming in from Classical on Monday to a fresh, clean house.
I smile just thinking about it. No more ring around the toilet, no more crunchies in the carpet, no more toothpaste dribble on the mirror, just....clean. For one day (okay maybe just until nap time is over), I will enjoy clean.
Ahhhhhhh.....maybe next week won't be so bad after all...as long as birth parents don't do anything crazy.