Thanks for the encouraging words and prayers you all have said on our behalf. I am so humbled. I confessed to my friend this morning that my heart hadn't really changed that much. Then, she asked me a question that took me back. She said,
"When this is all over and he's safely adopted, do you think you'll be able to pray for his parents then?"
She meant it with kindness and sincerity, but the truth is, she pointed out the ugliness that is gripping my heart over these people.
As I thought about her comment the rest of morning, I realized that she basically called me out. She made me realize that I'm being stupid and selfish and just mean. And although I can't say that I will approach Baby D's birth parents with love and kindness, I can say that I am now praying over them.
I am praying that they will find the goodness of the Savior. Right now, that's just about all I can pray.
Tomorrow, court starts at 9:30. From now until then, I will be a walking prayer. Praying to be at least willing to be made willing. Praying for peace. Praying for the ugly to find another home far far way from my heart.
"When this is all over and he's safely adopted, do you think you'll be able to pray for his parents then?"
She meant it with kindness and sincerity, but the truth is, she pointed out the ugliness that is gripping my heart over these people.
As I thought about her comment the rest of morning, I realized that she basically called me out. She made me realize that I'm being stupid and selfish and just mean. And although I can't say that I will approach Baby D's birth parents with love and kindness, I can say that I am now praying over them.
I am praying that they will find the goodness of the Savior. Right now, that's just about all I can pray.
Tomorrow, court starts at 9:30. From now until then, I will be a walking prayer. Praying to be at least willing to be made willing. Praying for peace. Praying for the ugly to find another home far far way from my heart.