I just feel emotionally drained. Several things have attributed to this, none of them being things that I really have any control over.
First, MckMama's (Jennifer's) sweet baby Stellan is back and forth and back and forth from okay to bad, okay to bad. It's exhausting for me to watch it unfold, yet I feel so drawn, so called to pray moment by moment.
Second, my kids have been TERRIBLE today. I'm sure my uptightness isn't helping, but Lucas cried, almost non-stop for 2.5 hours this morning. I was attempting to do some school work with Elizabeth. I was so excited about schooling this morning because on Saturday I bought 2 workbooks at the dollar store, 1 for Lucas and 1 for Ashlee and I just knew they's be so thrilled to have "big kid" work to do. They could have cared less. Lucas sat in front of his workbook and screamed most of the morning.
Ashlee was in a terrible mood and had to be spanked several times, which is totally unlike her. And, during all of that Elizabeth is frustrated because she cannot read. It was more than I could take and I surely questioned why in the world I'd ever want to do this homeschooling thing on a regular basis.
Lastly, another situation has me completely riddled with anxiety. Hopefully, I will be able to share more with you about that later.
All that to say that today has been one of the most stressful days I've had in a very, very, very long time. And, I'm not handling it well, at all. I've lost my cool, yelled at my kids, said BAD BAD things in my mind (and maybe even some of it slipped out), and just been on the brink of tears all day long.
Surely tomorrow will be better. It HAS to be better.
Please God, hear my cries, resolve these areas of unrest. Heal sweet Stellan's heart and make my own be one that carries with it peace, rest and abiding joy.
First, MckMama's (Jennifer's) sweet baby Stellan is back and forth and back and forth from okay to bad, okay to bad. It's exhausting for me to watch it unfold, yet I feel so drawn, so called to pray moment by moment.
Second, my kids have been TERRIBLE today. I'm sure my uptightness isn't helping, but Lucas cried, almost non-stop for 2.5 hours this morning. I was attempting to do some school work with Elizabeth. I was so excited about schooling this morning because on Saturday I bought 2 workbooks at the dollar store, 1 for Lucas and 1 for Ashlee and I just knew they's be so thrilled to have "big kid" work to do. They could have cared less. Lucas sat in front of his workbook and screamed most of the morning.
Ashlee was in a terrible mood and had to be spanked several times, which is totally unlike her. And, during all of that Elizabeth is frustrated because she cannot read. It was more than I could take and I surely questioned why in the world I'd ever want to do this homeschooling thing on a regular basis.
Lastly, another situation has me completely riddled with anxiety. Hopefully, I will be able to share more with you about that later.
All that to say that today has been one of the most stressful days I've had in a very, very, very long time. And, I'm not handling it well, at all. I've lost my cool, yelled at my kids, said BAD BAD things in my mind (and maybe even some of it slipped out), and just been on the brink of tears all day long.
Surely tomorrow will be better. It HAS to be better.
Please God, hear my cries, resolve these areas of unrest. Heal sweet Stellan's heart and make my own be one that carries with it peace, rest and abiding joy.