I never got along with "those girls" in high school. You know the ones: popular, perfect, gossipy. Not that I went to Beverly Hills High or anything, and in rural Arkansas, what can you seriously call someone that isn't really true? Calling someone a "Barefoot-Farm-Girl" was a true statement, and one that didn't carry a lot of sting, if you will.
At any rate, gossip and hurtfully pointing out the imperfections of others has never really been my thing. Don't get me wrong, I DO gossip (I am a human woman), but in general I find it repulsive. Seriously, M.Y.O.B.
Because ultimately gossip is but one thing. Gossip boiled down and stewed over is purely and ultimately JUDGMENT. Judgment that someone is doing something that you see unfit, inexplicable, gross, wrong or, in some cases, fabulous. For me, it just seems so petty, so worthless, such a waste of time.
Again, please do not see me as standing on some holy pedestal telling all you "sinners" what is right and wrong within the world. I mess up, I say things about other people. But, I'd like to think, that in general, I'm a gossip squealcher rather than a gossip perpetuator. Maybe I'm not, but that's what I like to think of myself, and afterall, this is my blog.
With that said, when I usually hear of people gossiping about me it has very little, to no, effect on me. I mean, if some folks wanna sit around and discuss my: parenting style, dress, vehicle, marriage, etc, etc..GO AHEAD. Geesh, it's really not that exciting. However, I have found in the last few weeks that apparently my family IS the center of some small talk. And you know what? This time it bothered me.
And, seeing as how I now have a captive audience (or at least a venue to display my perception of such non-sense) I'm gonna tell you why this time, it got me.
Most of the time I find that gossip is nothing more than people who actually know very little, pretending to know a lot. I also find that, most of the time, these people may ACTUALLY have well meaning intentions, but they are just out of touch with the reality of the situations or people that they are discussing.
Luke and I knew at the beginning of this foster parenting journey that we were going to be talked about, judged and, unfortunately, gossiped about. However, we had no choice. When God tells you to do something, you have 2 choices...
1) Obey God and allow Him to work out the details.
2) Disobey God and the One who redeemed you.
Clear choice, huh?
Anyway, we knew that fostering while our birth children were still young was crazy. We knew, yet we pushed ahead. When we accepted the call to take Baby Girl in our home, knowing that our family would become multi-racial, elliciting stares and comments from strangers and friends, we pushed ahead.
Still, knowing that people are talking about your family and actually hearing about it, from trusted people, is quite different. I have heard of people openly discussing the statuses of our babies, their "situations" and how/when/where/what we should be doing is hurtful. To make matters even more disheartening, I found that people are not afraid to discuss them, or their lack of them being really "ours" in front of them.
Really ours? Are you serious?
To have your very motive as a mother questioned is hurtful. To have people question the authenticity of a child to be "really yours" because there is not a specific genetic connection is maddening. It makes me angry, and quite frankly, it's stupid.
However, I will give these people the benefit of the doubt. I will assume that they do not see that speaking about my children in this manner, in front of them (nevermind that they are not even a year old yet) is rude, and cruel and just simply uncalled for.
I will assume that they do not truly understand the love of a mother for children who are not biologically related to her. I will assume that they will understand the power of their words once these things are brought into the light. I will assume such because I must.
Afterall, if I posted about such hearsay on my blog that would be gossip. And I don't like gossip.
At any rate, gossip and hurtfully pointing out the imperfections of others has never really been my thing. Don't get me wrong, I DO gossip (I am a human woman), but in general I find it repulsive. Seriously, M.Y.O.B.
Because ultimately gossip is but one thing. Gossip boiled down and stewed over is purely and ultimately JUDGMENT. Judgment that someone is doing something that you see unfit, inexplicable, gross, wrong or, in some cases, fabulous. For me, it just seems so petty, so worthless, such a waste of time.
Again, please do not see me as standing on some holy pedestal telling all you "sinners" what is right and wrong within the world. I mess up, I say things about other people. But, I'd like to think, that in general, I'm a gossip squealcher rather than a gossip perpetuator. Maybe I'm not, but that's what I like to think of myself, and afterall, this is my blog.
With that said, when I usually hear of people gossiping about me it has very little, to no, effect on me. I mean, if some folks wanna sit around and discuss my: parenting style, dress, vehicle, marriage, etc, etc..GO AHEAD. Geesh, it's really not that exciting. However, I have found in the last few weeks that apparently my family IS the center of some small talk. And you know what? This time it bothered me.
And, seeing as how I now have a captive audience (or at least a venue to display my perception of such non-sense) I'm gonna tell you why this time, it got me.
Most of the time I find that gossip is nothing more than people who actually know very little, pretending to know a lot. I also find that, most of the time, these people may ACTUALLY have well meaning intentions, but they are just out of touch with the reality of the situations or people that they are discussing.
Luke and I knew at the beginning of this foster parenting journey that we were going to be talked about, judged and, unfortunately, gossiped about. However, we had no choice. When God tells you to do something, you have 2 choices...
1) Obey God and allow Him to work out the details.
2) Disobey God and the One who redeemed you.
Clear choice, huh?
Anyway, we knew that fostering while our birth children were still young was crazy. We knew, yet we pushed ahead. When we accepted the call to take Baby Girl in our home, knowing that our family would become multi-racial, elliciting stares and comments from strangers and friends, we pushed ahead.
Still, knowing that people are talking about your family and actually hearing about it, from trusted people, is quite different. I have heard of people openly discussing the statuses of our babies, their "situations" and how/when/where/what we should be doing is hurtful. To make matters even more disheartening, I found that people are not afraid to discuss them, or their lack of them being really "ours" in front of them.
Really ours? Are you serious?
To have your very motive as a mother questioned is hurtful. To have people question the authenticity of a child to be "really yours" because there is not a specific genetic connection is maddening. It makes me angry, and quite frankly, it's stupid.
However, I will give these people the benefit of the doubt. I will assume that they do not see that speaking about my children in this manner, in front of them (nevermind that they are not even a year old yet) is rude, and cruel and just simply uncalled for.
I will assume that they do not truly understand the love of a mother for children who are not biologically related to her. I will assume that they will understand the power of their words once these things are brought into the light. I will assume such because I must.
Afterall, if I posted about such hearsay on my blog that would be gossip. And I don't like gossip.