Friday! Yes! This means Luke and I will get to spend a romantic evening catching up on the season/series premiere TV we
At any rate, we've had an exciting week to say the very least. Ashlee had to have her forehead glued shut with liquid stitches (that's a whole 'nother post), I heard baby #6's heartbeat for the second time ever and life in general was just busy, busy, busy. We managed to squeak in
Here, I'll go first and show you that it's relatively painless. I am about to tell on myself. I will only do so if you promise not to make any jokes or comments about me. At least not to my face, anyway. Ok?
Good.
I was snacking on some walnuts earlier this week and probably shoving them into my mouth much faster than is socially acceptable (Britt, I was IN the zone.)
Anyway, about an hour later I felt the baby moving. I lovingly placed my hand on my tummy only to feel that my belly button had suddenly become very much of an outie. "Huh?" I thought to myself. That's quick.
As I scanned my hand over my tummy again I thought, "Man, my belly button is awfully hard."
I raise up my shirt to inspect further and out of my belly button pops a walnut. So I did what any self-respecting pregnant woman would do. I picked it up and ate it.
Glad I live with gorillas who understand such primitive behavior.
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After the brass swallowing incident and promising myself that we would not be back at the doctor's office for a long, long while, I recanted my promise promptly on Tuesday evening. Lucas allegedly pushed Ashlee down and what resulted was a substantial sized hole in her head which required an after-hours doctors visit.
Ashlee was very brave about the whole thing and even while the doctor was gluing her forehead back together she was boldly professing, "Dis is fun! I wike dis."
Really? Because Mommy almost fainted at the sight of your blood, so let's not make it habit, mmkay?
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I see Lucas emerging from the bathroom, still pulling his pants up. Naturally, and because I'm slowing turning into a broken tape recorder (we still have a VCR, remember) I say, "Lucas did you wash your hands after you went potty?"
Lucas: "Nope. I don't need to Mom."
Me: "Yes sir, you do too. Please go wash them."
Lucas: "But Mom! I didn't touch my penis!"
Good to know. I'm sure that makes your aim so much better.
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Last Friday was just one of those days. Those days where you know that there is no chance you'll ever get dinner on the table before the children's stomachs begin eating themselves. So, we ordered pizza. After ordering a wave of nausea hit me hard enough to knock King Kong on his back (you know, if boy gorillas got pregnancy sickness and all). Anyway, as I hover over the toilet and ralph up any and all contents of my stomach, Elizabeth comes into the bathroom and stands behind me.
Elizabeth: "Um. Mom. You're really not going to be happy."
Me: Gurgle. Spit. Gag. "Okay honey. Please give me some privacy. I'll be out in a moment."
Elizabeth: Still standing behind me. "Lucas and Ashlee have done something really bad Mom. You need to come see."
Me: Gag. Spit. Heave. "Okay, just give me a few minutes, okay?"
I gather myself and follow Elizabeth into the girls' room. I see the following when I look into the girls' closet.
Now, that may not look like much, but notice how the clothes come to the top of the bottom drawer of that drawer bin in the back. That bottom drawer is at least 12 inches tall.
Me, to Lucas and Ashlee: "What in the world did you guys do?"
Lucas: "We pulded da cwose down."
Me: "Well, I can see that. Why would you do that?"
Ashlee: "Becawse. We needed to jump on dem."
Every. Single. Article. Of. Clothing. Pulled down from their previously hung-up home and strewn out of the drawers. Every shoe off of the shoe rack on the right. The only 3 pieces of clothing left are 3 dresses of Baby Girl's that they were too short to reach.
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Well, there you go. If you'd like to play along, simply write your own Das Not Funny! Friday post and link it back to here. Then, enter your info into MckLinky so we can all hop over and read your funnies.
Y'all have a good weekend. And remember, keep the romance alive. Settle in with your Honey, VCR some prime time TV and treat yourself to some Texas Pete Popcorn.
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After the brass swallowing incident and promising myself that we would not be back at the doctor's office for a long, long while, I recanted my promise promptly on Tuesday evening. Lucas allegedly pushed Ashlee down and what resulted was a substantial sized hole in her head which required an after-hours doctors visit.
Ashlee was very brave about the whole thing and even while the doctor was gluing her forehead back together she was boldly professing, "Dis is fun! I wike dis."
Really? Because Mommy almost fainted at the sight of your blood, so let's not make it habit, mmkay?
----------
I see Lucas emerging from the bathroom, still pulling his pants up. Naturally, and because I'm slowing turning into a broken tape recorder (we still have a VCR, remember) I say, "Lucas did you wash your hands after you went potty?"
Lucas: "Nope. I don't need to Mom."
Me: "Yes sir, you do too. Please go wash them."
Lucas: "But Mom! I didn't touch my penis!"
Good to know. I'm sure that makes your aim so much better.
---------
Last Friday was just one of those days. Those days where you know that there is no chance you'll ever get dinner on the table before the children's stomachs begin eating themselves. So, we ordered pizza. After ordering a wave of nausea hit me hard enough to knock King Kong on his back (you know, if boy gorillas got pregnancy sickness and all). Anyway, as I hover over the toilet and ralph up any and all contents of my stomach, Elizabeth comes into the bathroom and stands behind me.
Elizabeth: "Um. Mom. You're really not going to be happy."
Me: Gurgle. Spit. Gag. "Okay honey. Please give me some privacy. I'll be out in a moment."
Elizabeth: Still standing behind me. "Lucas and Ashlee have done something really bad Mom. You need to come see."
Me: Gag. Spit. Heave. "Okay, just give me a few minutes, okay?"
I gather myself and follow Elizabeth into the girls' room. I see the following when I look into the girls' closet.
Now, that may not look like much, but notice how the clothes come to the top of the bottom drawer of that drawer bin in the back. That bottom drawer is at least 12 inches tall.Me, to Lucas and Ashlee: "What in the world did you guys do?"
Lucas: "We pulded da cwose down."
Me: "Well, I can see that. Why would you do that?"
Ashlee: "Becawse. We needed to jump on dem."
Every. Single. Article. Of. Clothing. Pulled down from their previously hung-up home and strewn out of the drawers. Every shoe off of the shoe rack on the right. The only 3 pieces of clothing left are 3 dresses of Baby Girl's that they were too short to reach.
-------
Well, there you go. If you'd like to play along, simply write your own Das Not Funny! Friday post and link it back to here. Then, enter your info into MckLinky so we can all hop over and read your funnies.
Y'all have a good weekend. And remember, keep the romance alive. Settle in with your Honey, VCR some prime time TV and treat yourself to some Texas Pete Popcorn.