I bet you all were beginning to wonder if I had forgotten all about Das Not Funny! Friday. Well, I have NOT! In fact, so many hilarious things have happened in the last few weeks that this might be the longest Das Not Funny! Friday post in history. Maybe. If I can remember where I saved them all.
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Alrighty peeps, I'm telling you, these things just had me cracking up. Most of the time my laughter could not even be contained. Pure hilarity I tell you. I hope they make you laugh as much as they did me!
Aaron has a terrible habit of refusing to keep his feet off of the table while we eat. He puts his feet up there, we move them down and tell him "NO!" He looks at us, spitefully, and places them back on the table. After hearing me correct Aaron one too many times, Luke crosses the kitchen, grabs something to "spank" Aaron with and comes over to the table and pops Aaron on the exposed, table-resting foot with.....(are you ready for this?).....a Barbie leg.
Not an entire Barbie with just the leg extended for optimal spanking.
Nope.
A random, detached Barbie leg just like this one:
I say "just like" because I think we threw the original Barbie leg/spanker away. Lucky for Annnnnnyway....moving right along.....
Baby Girl has the foulest smelling diapers I've ever encountered. How a 19 pound someone can have such a horrid stench is beyond me. She can make grown men gag and it is not uncommon for her to crawl into another room and poop and me smell it without even entering into her presence.
It's bad y'all.
One night Ashlee gets out of bed and comes to our room. Our door creeps open and she says, "Mom. [Baby Girl] poopt."
"Okay honey," I say, "I'll be right there to change her. Go back to bed, okay?"
She obeys and shuts our door. About 90 seconds later our door reopens.
"Mommy," Ashlee says, "my woom wealwe stinks and now, I can't go to sweep."
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Driving home one afternoon, we stop at an intersection just in time to see an ambulance, with sirens blaring, cross in front of us.
"Look Mom!" Lucas yells, "A firebus!"
"No, baby," I correct, "that's an ambulance."
"No! A firebus!" Lucas insists.
"No sweetie, that was an ambulance. It's going to help someone who is sick." I say.
"Yeah," Elizabeth inserts, "someone is hurt and blooding everywhere or got smashed by their car. Or, their leg fell off."
Hummmm.....maybe that explains the Barbie leg.
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Earlier this week, while I was at an OB check up our babysitter texts me the following:
Lucas: "Why did God make this house?"
Elizabeth: "He didn't. He just told other people to make it. Then we put all this stuff in it. But God made the doors. And Aaron."
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Last night 3 of the 5 children starting coming down with some sort of stomach/fever virus. After Ashlee finished puking into the toilet and as I was wiping off her face she states, breathlessly,
"Oh. Da baby's makin' me grow up."
(If you can't figure it out, Lucas and Ashlee both say "grow up" for "throw up." Good to know hat this pregnancy has had a lasting impression on my 3 year old daughter.)
Alrighty peeps, now it's your turn if you wish you play along. All you've gotta do is write your own Das Not Funny! Friday post and then enter your info into MckLinky. Then, visit and laugh and have a great start to your weekend.
I'm hoping ours turns into a good one and NOT one filled with fevers and squirts and "growin' up" as last night's behaviors seemed to indicate.
Happy Friday Y'all.
