Today our firstborn turns six years old.
Six.
Seriously. Where did the time go? I know for a fact that it was only a year or so ago that I held her new little self in my arms and marveled at the fact that the nurses and doctors actually let us bring her home. Clearly, we'd somehow slipped through the hospital's cracks because we seriously had no clue how to be parents.
Six years later, I still stand in awe of this precious little girl and I'm still struggling to figure out this whole motherhood thing. My bald headed, easy going baby is now a beautiful, curly headed young girl and sometimes I look at her and she just takes my breath away.
I'm not quite sure why God chose to bless us with this treasure but He did and I am forever blessed by His goodness in her. Completely loving, the best big sister any sibling could ask for, she's never too far from a younger brother or sister who needs a little help. In fact, quite often lately, a favorite of her and Olivia is this:
If you think either of them is disliking this set up, think again. Olivia couldn't be happier resting right there on her big sister's hip. And Elizabeth, well, she couldn't be more delighted that Olivia requests to be held, often exclusively, by her.
Now that my baby is moving into new phases of independence I find my heart soaring with joy and breaking with sorrow all in the same breath. How my heart overflows when I hear her speak to others with kindness and grace, knowing that she desires to please us and the Lord with her actions and words. At in the next moment, my mother's heart tears apart, knowing that this is just the beginning of me having to let go and not always answer the questions asked of her. Watching her grow up seemingly day by day, even minute by minute, and her have thoughts and questions and ideas that are original to her little self is amazing and sad. How can my little girl already be able to be so independent of me?!
But she is. And my heart overflows with pride for being her mother. This tender hearted hazel eyed girl is so concerned with the well fare of others. "Do they have food Momma?" and if they don't, "How will their tummies get full?"
Seeing her experience the hurt of this world, in limited portions, and knowing that it hurts her fragile heart is sometimes more than I can bear. Knowing that she's able to experience and remember such hurts makes me want to lock her away so that her innocent spirit won't get damaged and her desire to change the world will always be pure.
But I know that would do her much more harm than good. And as I sit back and soak in the conversations that we are now having, discussions of life and theories and understandings that her six year old mind can comprehend, I savor every second.
She's gone from a toddler who we've had to explain the world to, to a young girl who is able to understand the things around her, understand her God and see the world with eyes of her own. It's so much fun to sit and talk with her about the mundane and the majestic. Seeing the world, fresh, through her eyes makes me fall in love with her all over again.
Never too serious for a laugh or a little sassiness, she makes me realize, daily, that I have the best job in the world. We laugh together regularly and I love watching her wit grow and her sense of humor develop.
And it's because of her that I can never doubt that God's plans are ultimately best. For the heart of a man can plan his way but the Lord establishes his steps (Prov. 16:9). This tiny little miracle that entered our lives 6 years ago showed me that my plans were futile. The Lord knew that deeply rooted in me was a desire to be a Mother. And it was with her first breath that He granted me a life I never even realized I wanted. With the beginnings of her tiny heartbeat, He transformed in me a heart that would have been forever separate from Him. And I also believe that He placed within our little girl and heart sold our for the Lord. She continually amazes us with her understanding of a mighty God, His marvelous mercy and His compassion for hurting people.
How I pray that Luke and I can equip her for the purposes of God's kingdom, whatever they may be.
Our sweet birthday princess. We love you more than words could explain! Happy #6 baby girl. You make our hearts overflow.
Six.
Seriously. Where did the time go? I know for a fact that it was only a year or so ago that I held her new little self in my arms and marveled at the fact that the nurses and doctors actually let us bring her home. Clearly, we'd somehow slipped through the hospital's cracks because we seriously had no clue how to be parents.Six years later, I still stand in awe of this precious little girl and I'm still struggling to figure out this whole motherhood thing. My bald headed, easy going baby is now a beautiful, curly headed young girl and sometimes I look at her and she just takes my breath away.
I'm not quite sure why God chose to bless us with this treasure but He did and I am forever blessed by His goodness in her. Completely loving, the best big sister any sibling could ask for, she's never too far from a younger brother or sister who needs a little help. In fact, quite often lately, a favorite of her and Olivia is this:
If you think either of them is disliking this set up, think again. Olivia couldn't be happier resting right there on her big sister's hip. And Elizabeth, well, she couldn't be more delighted that Olivia requests to be held, often exclusively, by her.Now that my baby is moving into new phases of independence I find my heart soaring with joy and breaking with sorrow all in the same breath. How my heart overflows when I hear her speak to others with kindness and grace, knowing that she desires to please us and the Lord with her actions and words. At in the next moment, my mother's heart tears apart, knowing that this is just the beginning of me having to let go and not always answer the questions asked of her. Watching her grow up seemingly day by day, even minute by minute, and her have thoughts and questions and ideas that are original to her little self is amazing and sad. How can my little girl already be able to be so independent of me?!
But she is. And my heart overflows with pride for being her mother. This tender hearted hazel eyed girl is so concerned with the well fare of others. "Do they have food Momma?" and if they don't, "How will their tummies get full?"Seeing her experience the hurt of this world, in limited portions, and knowing that it hurts her fragile heart is sometimes more than I can bear. Knowing that she's able to experience and remember such hurts makes me want to lock her away so that her innocent spirit won't get damaged and her desire to change the world will always be pure.But I know that would do her much more harm than good. And as I sit back and soak in the conversations that we are now having, discussions of life and theories and understandings that her six year old mind can comprehend, I savor every second.
She's gone from a toddler who we've had to explain the world to, to a young girl who is able to understand the things around her, understand her God and see the world with eyes of her own. It's so much fun to sit and talk with her about the mundane and the majestic. Seeing the world, fresh, through her eyes makes me fall in love with her all over again.Never too serious for a laugh or a little sassiness, she makes me realize, daily, that I have the best job in the world. We laugh together regularly and I love watching her wit grow and her sense of humor develop.
And it's because of her that I can never doubt that God's plans are ultimately best. For the heart of a man can plan his way but the Lord establishes his steps (Prov. 16:9). This tiny little miracle that entered our lives 6 years ago showed me that my plans were futile. The Lord knew that deeply rooted in me was a desire to be a Mother. And it was with her first breath that He granted me a life I never even realized I wanted. With the beginnings of her tiny heartbeat, He transformed in me a heart that would have been forever separate from Him. And I also believe that He placed within our little girl and heart sold our for the Lord. She continually amazes us with her understanding of a mighty God, His marvelous mercy and His compassion for hurting people.How I pray that Luke and I can equip her for the purposes of God's kingdom, whatever they may be.Our sweet birthday princess. We love you more than words could explain! Happy #6 baby girl. You make our hearts overflow.