Das Not Funny! Friday: five-eighths of Mt. Kilimanjaro's magic



Happy Friday! Here are the last few weeks worth of Das Not Funny! Friday funnies. If you have funnies you'd like to post, simply leave a link to your post in the comments section.

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Elizabeth, for some reason, has be enthralled lately with magic tricks. Unfortunately, she doesn't quite grasp the magical aspect of each trick. For example, earlier last week she was putting a small doll in a cup and saying,

"For my next trick I'll pull a DOLL out of this cup."

(Insert dramatic pause)

"Taaa Duuuuh!"

(Withdraw the doll from the cup.)

Each trick was about the same, with varying objects magically appearing from a hat or cup or bowl. Each time she'd finish a trick, she'd announce the next by saying, "For my next trick...."

I know you're all dazzled by her magic, just as I was. After I'd asked her several times to put her magic away and begin her math, I began to get frustrated and my voice became a little more firm.

"Elizabeth, please go do your math NOW!"

To which she replied, "For my next trick...I will obey my Mother."

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While we were in New York, the kids learned a lot about the continent of Africa including it's countries, some of their cultural practices and even some notable landmarks. One morning at breakfast, the kids were debating exactly where Mount Kilimanjaro was located, they asked for my wisdom in figuring it's exact coordinates.

"I'm not sure," I replied, "I think it's either in Kenya or Tanzania. Not too far from Kenya I think because Chris and Lindy have been there, I'm pretty sure."

Elizabeth interjected with, "Yeah. I think it's between Tanzania and....."

"NEW YORK!" Lucas interrupted.

Good thinking Buddy. You're probably right.

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I can't remember if I've posted this one or not, and I'm too lazy to go back and look so if I have, sorry. It's funny enough to repeat anyway.

Ashlee is one of the three people in the house whose bottom I am NOT responsible for wiping. Elizabeth is the 2nd. I'll leave it up to your imagination who the 3rd is. If you can't figure it out...well, just think harder.

Basically out of 8 butts in our house, I wipe 5 of them daily. Any time I can let go of butt wiping responsibilities it's a good day in our house. One afternoon, Ashlee was doing some business on the potty. She yells from the bathroom, "Mom! I'm done! Come wipe me!"

Knowing she's perfectly capable of doing so, unlike her twin brother, I yell back, "Wipe yourself Ash. You're a big girl."

Exasperated she sighs, "Mooooom. I've just been wiping my whole entire wife. I'm just so tired of wipin' booties."

Really? Because let me give you some insight into my life little girl, okay? 5/8 of the butts. FIVE-EIGHTHS.

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Aaron's verbal skills have taken off really. Luke and I both agreed that he went to bed one night talking in toddler jibberish and woke up the next morning speaking in full sentences.

I'm hardly kidding. He's a real talker now and he talks NON-STOP. "Wook Mom bus! Bus Mom! I see da bus Mom! Wook! Twee! I see da twee! Twee Mom! Wook! Big twuck Mom! Wed Twuck!" Say that to yourself as fast as you can without taking a breath for the next 20 minutes and you'll get a snippet of my day with my youngest son.

That dude talks. A lot.

Especially after he's been quiet for an extended period of time, like after a nap. He talks from the moment I walk in the bedroom door, the entire time I'm walking him to the changing table, all during his diaper change, while I put on a new diaper, while I'm redressing him and as I send him off to play.

One day he was giving me an even more detailed play-by-play of his diaper change, "Wook Mom. Poop. Raren (Aaron) poop Mom. Wook! Wipessss Mom. Mom wipe Raren's booty. Whhhheeeeeeww wwwweeeee Mom! Raren stink!"

Yeah. No kidding dude. Remember that time you pooped in the potty? Yeah, me neither.

Y'all have a supremely blessed weekend!