One month from today, I'll be sitting on the verge of an experience that will surely change my life and give me glimpses as to what our future holds.
On April 7th, I will be traveling to the the West African country of Guinea-Bissau for an 11 day journey. I will be going with a team from our church that includes my dear friend Wendi, another young mother and two seasoned gentlemen who are very well versed in foreign travel and missions. Both of the men who are going have been to Guinea-Bissau several times. But for us young mothers, it will be each of our first time to Africa.
We will be going to work with a people group who, until our church committed to reaching them approximately 2 years ago, were a completely unreached. The Badyara people now boast approximately 50-100 believers in their 5,000-15,000 person population - which is spread across 3 main (and totally remote) villages. It's unclear exactly how many people belong to this specific tribe of people (hence the wide range in numbers), but it is known that they are considered only marginally reached.
Sound familiar? Yes, this is almost exactly what our family's ministry will be in Kenya. I know the Lord will reveal great things to me on this trip and I am both excited and nervous about what those things will be.
Our amazing babysitter/nanny Amanda will be here with the kids during the day, while Luke's at work so I know the children will be well cared for by someone that knows them and they love. But still, I'm anxious about leaving them for so long.
Truthfully, this wasn't one of those cases where I felt like the Lord was excessively clear in directing me to go. I attended the 1st information meeting about this trip and truly had so much hesitation in my Spirit. Really, I couldn't put my finger on a specific reason why I felt uneasy about going. I wrestled with the uneasiness within me. I believe fully that the Lord uses His Spirit within us to lead and direct us, even when the reasons aren't clear. So until I felt the hesitation was gone, I resolved that I wouldn't go on this trip.
After about a week of wrestling, I finally told Luke that I wasn't going to go. I told him I couldn't put a specific reason as to why, but that I just felt that now wasn't the time. I asked him what he thought and he said, "Well, I don't see any reason why going would be a bad thing. Since the Lord hasn't directly told you not to go, I think you should. Do you think your hesitation is rooted in your anxiety about leaving the kids? It would be a great learning experience for you, especially with what is to come with our family. Keep praying, I don't think the Lord has definitively spoken yet." (Praise God for a husband who is also in tune with God's desires!)
So I prayed and I continued studying Scripture. I talked about it more with my friend Wendi and I told her that if I still felt uneasy by the deposit deadline, I was going to take that as the Lord's desire for me not to go. She committed to praying for me as well. (Praise God for God-focused friends!)
That night, after talking with Wendi, I prayed and studied God's word. I asked God, BOLDLY, to give me a specific direction about whether or not He wanted me to go on this trip. Without hesitation, I felt the Lord stir these words within me,
"My Word is clear, Jessica. You know what my desires are. My desires are to make my Name known among all the nations. You know that my desire for your life is to be my witness to the ends of the Earth. This is the ends of the Earth, Jessica. These people don't know me. Tell them."
I cried as I sat there, knowing that every reason within me for having hesitation was not from the Lord. The enemy was using my desire for control, safety and comfort as a way to divert me from giving the Lord glory. I was also afraid of the backlash I'd face taking a trip like this.
Over the next day a peace that I cannot explain washed over me. The hesitation was completely extracted from my Spirit and I knew that this was the Lord's answer that I should go. So here I sit, approximately one month out and though I am eager to go I can't say that I am clap-my-hands-jump-up-and-down excited.
I'm eager to see what the Lord will show me during this trip and during this season of my dependence on Him. I AM excited about putting my feet on some African soil. And something in my Spirit feels certain that being physically on the continent that God has called us to serve will put me directly at the throne of my God. THAT I am excited about!
If you feel led, I'd love to have you pray for me as I prepare for this trip. Pray that I will stay consistent in studying God's word, that my prayer time will reflect my desire to hear from the Lord and that I will be emotionally and physically ready.
Guinea-Bissau has NO POWER GRID. Which means any and all power within the country is from generators. That also means I will have relatively no communication with my family, other than maybe a quick phone call or two.
A team from our church just returned a couple weeks ago and the temperatures reached 113 degrees Fahrenheit. (Our missions pastor said he measured 122 degrees on the roof of one of the buildings.) Those numbers will be mild compared to when we are there, the month before the hottest season of the year (May).
Also, pray for my family. Pray for our children as I talk with them about where I'm going and what I'll be doing. Elizabeth has gotten pretty upset because she isn't going with me. She told me she wanted to go and preach to people too. Such a tender heart she has! Pray for my husband as he prepares to spend a week with little-to-no contact with his wife, work all day and also come home to parent our children.
Lastly, here is a video a previous team member (and incredibly talented friend) made when he went back at the end of 2010. It's powerful. Make sure you have your speakers on.
Thanks friends!