Suffering. Endurance. Character. HOPE.

Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
(Romans 5:3-5 ESV)

I want hope and power via the Holy Spirit. I want to know God’s love intimately. I’d even like a healthy heaping of hope.

But you know what I don’t want?

I don’t want to grow my character. I certainly don’t enjoy practicing endurance. And, without a doubt I do not want to suffer.

Who signs up for that?

Lately, I feel like the Lord is hard at work procuring in me hope. But, I think I’m missing it. You see, I feel a lot lately like I’m suffering. I even feel like He’s hard at work sculpting and shaping my character. He sees a blemish in me and makes it glaringly obvious that it’s an area of my character that needs refining. Bring in the suffering. I meander along, enduring it, but not necessarily growing my endurance. And you can be sure that I’m not rejoicing in it one bit.

I think that the Lord is holding up to His end of this refining process. He’s ordained the suffering and refining my character. But I am not willing to do more than endure it. Which should not be confused with building my endurance. Truly, I’m not holding up to my end of this process.

About a year ago, a friend of mine talked me into running my first ever 5K race. By nature I am NOT a runner. In fact, even when I was a college athlete in prime physical condition I loathed running. Still, this sweet friend of mine encouraged me and helped me train for this race.

With every training session, I endured the pain. I pushed through the shin-splints. I logged the miles and miles of pre-5K runs. But it wasn’t with joy. In fact, I thought about faking an injury just so I could stop. (I didn’t.)

After all, I’ve always said that my favorite part of running is the stopping at the end.

Race day came and my sweet, marathon-running friend trotted happily beside me while I endured 5 kilometers of a race I wasn’t even sure I wanted to run. She chatted and I fought vomiting. The finish line came in sight and suddenly, I was joyful.

Not because I had spent hours training. Not because I had grown a friendship to a new level. Not because I had strengthened my body and challenged myself to grow. All of those things would have been awesome things to be joyful about.

I was joyful because it was almost over and I could go back to my normal life of hating running and never doing it again.

Unfortunately, I look at Romans 5:3-5 in much of the same way. During the suffering, I don’t stop and take joy in what the Lord is doing in my life. I don’t joyfully look upon the fruits of my character building. And I often miss the hope poured into me by the Holy Spirit.

Sadly, I spend all of my time looking for the finish line. Praying for the suffering to end. Hoping not more in the Lord but in my own capabilities for a finished result.

I pray that I can begin to look at life’s trials and sufferings as character growing, endurance building and hope breathing seasons in the Lord. Romans 5 clearly states that the end cannot come without the means.

What are you simply enduring right now? How can you turn it into a season of endurance building instead? Allow God to refine you and in turn, pour His love into our hearts through the Holy Spirit.

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I wrote this post for the Summer Session Bible Reading plan my church is doing. If you're reading along, what do you think? If you're not, it's not too late to start!