The Making of M.O.M.

Wow! I just realized it's Friday. I mean, I knew it was Friday because we did our normal Friday morning activities already this morning, but I just realized it was Friday. You know what I mean?

I don't really have anything in the way of a Das Not Funny! Friday post because, well, I've been a little busy...

...growing a baby.

...going pee.

...packing up my house.

...searching for a place for us to live.

...going pee.

...calling to check on my Maw.

...and the normal stuff like changing diapers and cooking meals and breaking up arguments and kissing boo boos and tying shoes.

...and going pee.

The only funny things that I remember from this week are two, both from my Ashlee.

She was playing with her Vsmile and changing out the game to play Winne the Pooh and she looks at me, holds the cartridge next to my belly and says,

"Mommy, you and Pooh have the same kinda tummy. 'Sept your tummy has a baby in it and Pooh's doesn't. He's just got honey."

And then this afternoon as I backed our new (to us) van into the driveway Lucas says,

"Let's 'retend that dis is the DINOSAUR TRAIN!"

To which Ashlee replies, "Let's don't. And just let it be a people train, okay Woocus?"

There's always a joy killer in every group.

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With the rest of your time, I'd like to discuss with you the aspect of email addresses. As I am calling all over various towns, speaking to several different people, trying to find us a place to live I'm having to give out my email address to strangers.

And, it's got me to thinking. Your email address actually says quite a bit about you, don't you think? Have you ever looked at someone's email address and wondered WHY ON EARTH they'd have chosen that one?

I mean, did they think no one would ever see it?

I mean, what if my email was something like: foxychick@somewhere.com? Um, can you imagine giving that out to someone when you are looking to have a professional relationship with them?

What about: hellzangelinlove@anywhere.com?

Or one I saw not long ago, attached to a Craigslist listing: toohotforyou24.7@idontknow.com.

Seriously?

So I ask you...what does your email address say about you? If it's got the word "sexy" or "love" or some reference to your VERY personal life may I suggest a change is in order?

Mmmkay, I'm done now.

Have a great weekend. If you need me, I'll be in the bathroom.

This will be a ranting post. If you don't like rants, stop now.

I HATE forwards. Okay, hate is a strong word, but I really, really don't like them. If you send me forwards on the regular take this as your hint to STOP.

Why are some people forward junkies? I mean, an occasional good forward can be sometimes warranted..sometimes. However, I have people, (in my email contact list) that feel the need to forward me everything they've ever received.

It's as if they really believe I've never gotten that same email from another forward junkie. Seriously, you can quit now.

I half expect to get their online bank statement or power bill. Yes, it's that bad.

So, I have complied this list for you to test yourself and see if you are, in fact, a forward junkie.

Here goes....

10. You have a "group" in your email address book that you use to send the majority of your emails. Emailing in bulk on a regular basis should never happen.

9. You are on at least 2 or more daily email lists. By these I mean, a joke of the day, daily devotional, cheery thoughts to live by, etc. Those in and of themselves are not bad, but here's the kicker: YOU FEEL THE NEED TO SEND ALL OF THEM TO THE GROUP MENTIONED IN #10.

If I wanted to be on the email list, I'd sign myself up. Thanks anyway.

8. You think that all of the forwards you receive are meant to be "shared" and/or are the funniest/scariest/craziest (insert any other adjective) thing you've ever read.

7. You REALLY believe that if you deny Jesus by not forwarding this email on, you will burn in hell.

6. You are awaiting your check from Bill Gates, Microsoft corporation and/or AOL for the 1,000 emails you sent on their behalf that they are tracking.

5. You think that written email word is truth and you feel it necessary to share the truth to those you know, regardless that you've have not checked into these truths for yourself. Try www.snopes.com. It's good stuff.

4. You have 6 copies of the same forward in your own email box.

3. You refuse to eat or serve your children Pop Rocks, even if you purchased them yourself. You can never be too careful about people slipping meth into the pop rocks at Walmart.

2. You know Ashley Flores by name and look for her in public places.

1. You get more offers for Viagra than you could possibly count. You see, the thing is, when your are a habitual forwarder, you usually rope yourself into getting more and more junk mail, thus placing yourself on almost every bulk email listing service known to man. Every bulk email mailing list sells Viagra by the pallet to the general public. Something here is not on the up and up (sorry, I couldn't resist).

Hopefully, you have looked at the above list and evaluated your impulse to forward. I am not saying that I do not enjoy an occasional joke or forwarded email. However, if you send more than 1 forward per calendar quarter, chances are I'm not even opening it. That's right, straight to the trash bin.

Save your fingers and reduce your risk of carpel tunnel syndrome and stop. I'd much rather hear from your personally.

And no, forwards do NOT count as "Staying in touch."