Being a Mom is tough

I just love this post by Courtney.

She's so right, you know. Being a Mom is tough. And you don't need a qualifier of six (or more) kids to admit that. Being a Mom was tough for me when Elizabeth was just an infant. It was SO tough. And, even though I have 6 times the kids that I had way back then, it continues to be just as challenging, just in different ways.

Being a Mom of 1 is equally as difficult as being a Mom of 5 or 6 or 10. Sure the challenges are different as you welcome more children into your home. But I'd venture to guess that if I could play back for myself a video taped day of me, when we just had Elizabeth, Lucas and Ashlee (half the number of kids I have now) that most of the challenges I faced then, I am still facing.

Just because I've acquired lots of children doesn't mean I've figured out this job of wife and mother. I still struggle to keep my house clean. I still have a sink overflowing with dirty dishes. I still have a hard time cutting out a part of me for my husband at the end of the day. I still struggle to find time in God's word. And those are just a few of my many, many struggles. I could go on but I won't because that's not my intention for this post.

The point is, being a Mom is tough.

And all too often, we Moms don't make it easy on ourselves or each other. We impose judgment and cast disapproving glances at one another. We compare ourselves to someone who appears to have it all together and then beat ourselves up over our perceived flaws. We see Mothers who have perfect children and then wrestle with our own kids, begging them, if only in our minds, to be like so-and-so. We wonder why in the world that Mother made that choice with her child and then we wait to see if it will backfire on her.

Being a Mom around other Moms is tough.

Why do we do that to ourselves and to each other? Why don't we just encourage each other and grow with each other rather than playing this game of compare and contrast?

I think it's because we are too afraid of other people seeing our faults and then, later, using them against us. At least that's how I feel. Sometimes I'm too afraid to admit that I haven't dusted since we moved (which was March 1st, if you're keeping track). Sometimes I'm too concerned with the comments I'll get if I admit that I want to get into the car and drive away, in any direction other than my house, without my children in the backseats. Because, after all, it was my choice to have all these kids, wasn't it?

But I'm not perfect. And, I'd guess that you aren't either. And I'd even go further to say that I bet you and I struggle with the exact same things most days. Whether you stay at home or work outside the home, whether you have 1 kid or you have 12 kids, I'd guess that at the end of the day you and I both (finally) sit down and think, "Crap! I can't believe I didn't get ___________ again today!" (Insert: the laundry done, my quiet time, my house cleaned, that project finished etc, etc, etc.)

Life is hard and being a Mom makes it that much more.

So, I'd like to use this post for us Moms (or Dads, if any actually read and want to comment) to encourage each other. I'd like for us to openly uplift each other and, in turn, recognize an area that we are struggling. I'm not asking for deep, dark secrets just the average. Just give me something of surface value if nothing else.

Here are the rules...First you list a way you are struggling to fulfill your role as a mom or wife or girlfriend or daughter or whatever applies to you. It doesn't have to be a deep, personal something just an everyday struggle.

THEN,

you list a way that you think that you are rockin' it as a mom or wife or girlfriend or daughter or whatever applies to you. Feel free to also add a note of advice or encouragement to a commenter before you. But be sure to end on the positive, mmmkay?

For example, if someone above me in the comments said that they were struggling to find a way to NOT loose socks in the laundry I might offer to them what I have found is currently working for our family.

Which is..I've started taking a mesh, lingerie bag and hanging it beside the dirty laundry basket. EVERY SINGLE SOCK that does not belong to myself or my husband goes into the bag. When it's full, I zip it and toss it in the next load of laundry. At the end, all the socks SHOULD be in the bag. Unless your dryer really does eat socks, then you're in a heap of trouble.

Then I tell you how I'm struggling...

I can't figure out a way to stay on top of folding and putting away clean laundry. It just accumulates in a steady pile mountain on our love seat.

And how I'm rockin' it...

I didn't feed my kids McDonald's more than once last week (See, I told you it could be simple!)

or the more profound might be that Luke and I are in the process of purging our house of unnecessary clothing and toys and CRAP and it feels oh-so-good.

See? Simple. And I really know I could use some encouragement and some counsel on all the challenges that come with being a Mom.

So, ladies (or gents) what do you say? Are you in? I sure hope so because I'm already looking forward to your comments! I need to know I'm not the only imperfect Mother and I could sure glean from your wisdom.

Sinners Welcome


As I prepared for my 11th grade Sunday School class lesson on "Passing Judgment" it struck me just how judgmental we Christians can be.

As followers of Christ, we should be the first to be accepting of the shortcomings of others. Instead, we often hold people out to the side, helping them just enough, holding them at arms length so that they don't stain our flawless appearance.

Shouldn't church be a place where we can gather, admit our failures, discuss our struggles and gain confidence that others are wading through the muck with us?

3 weeks ago at my Tuesday morning women's Bible study I laid myself out for the ladies. After two others had taken their turn with their weekly prayer requests, I turned to the group and bluntly stated,

"I'm angry. I'm angry at everything, everyone and mostly, my kids."

Several other women in the group chimed in. Apparently, I was not alone.

Here's what I find to be true with non-christians, Christians and church in general:

Non-believers think that Christians are hypocrites. They feel this way because we say we are forgiven and yet we are quick to point out sin. (I used to feel this way, that's how I know.) However, that finger pointing is usually aimed at others. We do not fancy pointing out our own flaws. (This is not specific to believers, NO ONE likes to point out their own flaws.)

We believers are quick to point out "big sin" like pornography, homosexuality or adultery. However, the day to day stuff like lying, swearing, being judgmental or lustful thoughts are avoided like the plague. We avoid talking about these things because to discuss them would be to admit that we struggle with them.

Let me just say, for the record, I struggle DAILY with lying, coarse talk, being judgmental and lust. Not one day, not one, do I not struggle with one or all of these things.

I don't understand why we don't just fess up! I am broken and I cannot be fixed, not while I dwell on this earth. Let me just quote a bumper sticker or sign I saw somewhere that said,

"I'm not perfect, just forgiven." I mean, AMEN.

All of us are sinners, ALL of us. From the wisest person in the church to the prostitute on the street, we ALL fall short of God's glory and none, NONE of us are righteous.

The great thing about Jesus is that all sinners are welcome in His presence.

With all of that said, let me ask you these questions.

> If you ARE NOT a believer in Jesus Christ, how do you feel about believers? Do you find them hypocritical? If you've ever been to a church, what was the biggest turn off?

> If you ARE a believer, do you think you pass judgment too quickly? What is your biggest struggle? How do you think your church responds to those who are new and/or non-believers?

I will allow anonymous comments for this post. If you are a non-believer, please feel free to be honest in your evaluation of us believers. If you are a believer, feel free to openly discuss your struggles and the way you view yourself and the church.

Trust me, opinions and sinners are welcome here. If they weren't, I'd have to shut this puppy down.