I have hesitated to write this post many times for fear of sounding unloving, or worse, racist. However, it seems to be a topic I can no longer avoid. It seems to be something that has crept into our common life and one that I have made considerable note of and, quite honestly, it just bugs me.
People stare at us. I know this may not shock some of you, but it did me. Sometimes I think they stare because of the insane amount of young children we have in tow. Other times, I know that is not the only reason. You see, we get stares from all types of people. Hispanics, Whites, Asians, Blacks and any person who takes in breath. The norm is that these people, always strangers, look at us then (almost always) strike up some type of conversation with one or more of our children, usually attracted to Aaron and Baby Girl because they are incredibly adorable babies.
The one thing that I've noticed, the only discrepancy, is that not all people are attracted equally. Most everyone is drawn to Aaron's remarkable blue eyes or Baby Girl's tiny physique. Almost everyone is drawn to the fact that Ashlee and Lucas are twins. Nearly every person comments on Elizabeth's outstanding curls. I say most, because that's the case. Most. More abundantly, however, is the fact that black people are only interested in Baby Girl.
So much so that they often ignore our other children and clamor to get their hands on her. Don't read this wrong, I am not offended that black people would think that our black daughter is beautiful and magnificent. She is and I can only imagine the way that someone seeing her for the first time would be captivated by her. The thing that irks me beyond understanding is the way that, for the most part, black people are ONLY drawn to HER. They outright ignore our other children.
For example, at a recent foster parent gathering we took all five of our kiddos. The big kids were off playing in water puddles and rocks and I was caring for both babies. Several other foster parents came over and asked if they were both foster children. Several families came up marveled at Aaron's big blue eyes and Baby Girls willing smile. A hispanic family came by and spoke to both babies, eager for their attention. A white couple asked to hold each of them, one at a time, and commented on Aaron's stranger anxiety and Baby Girl's willingness to giggle. But the one thing I noticed was how the black families ONLY responded to Baby Girl. They held her and even went to show her off to their families. I wish I could say that this is an isolated incident, but it is not. We experience this anytime we go into public with all of our children. Baby Girl is oodled over by the majority of the black people we encounter, while those same people outright ignore our other four.
It almost makes me feel as if black people see her with us then assume that we could not possibly be giving her the attention she needs, so THEY must fill in that gap.
I wish I could say that I'm being overly dramatic, but I'm not. Luke has noticed this pattern as well. Please do not mistake me for saying that ALL black people are acting in this manner. I am simply recounting OUR experiences over the past few months and the notice we've taken. I can assure you that there have been a few times that black people have loved on and considered all of our children in their interactions with us. I pray that you do not read this as racism, because that is not my intent. I just find it intriguing (and yes, frustrating) that sometimes our other children are flat out ignored when Baby Girl gets the sole attention from another person with black skin.
I'd love your input and/or comments, especially those of you with multi-racial families. Am I being too sensitive? Please remember, let's make this a respectable discussion.
People stare at us. I know this may not shock some of you, but it did me. Sometimes I think they stare because of the insane amount of young children we have in tow. Other times, I know that is not the only reason. You see, we get stares from all types of people. Hispanics, Whites, Asians, Blacks and any person who takes in breath. The norm is that these people, always strangers, look at us then (almost always) strike up some type of conversation with one or more of our children, usually attracted to Aaron and Baby Girl because they are incredibly adorable babies.
The one thing that I've noticed, the only discrepancy, is that not all people are attracted equally. Most everyone is drawn to Aaron's remarkable blue eyes or Baby Girl's tiny physique. Almost everyone is drawn to the fact that Ashlee and Lucas are twins. Nearly every person comments on Elizabeth's outstanding curls. I say most, because that's the case. Most. More abundantly, however, is the fact that black people are only interested in Baby Girl.
So much so that they often ignore our other children and clamor to get their hands on her. Don't read this wrong, I am not offended that black people would think that our black daughter is beautiful and magnificent. She is and I can only imagine the way that someone seeing her for the first time would be captivated by her. The thing that irks me beyond understanding is the way that, for the most part, black people are ONLY drawn to HER. They outright ignore our other children.
For example, at a recent foster parent gathering we took all five of our kiddos. The big kids were off playing in water puddles and rocks and I was caring for both babies. Several other foster parents came over and asked if they were both foster children. Several families came up marveled at Aaron's big blue eyes and Baby Girls willing smile. A hispanic family came by and spoke to both babies, eager for their attention. A white couple asked to hold each of them, one at a time, and commented on Aaron's stranger anxiety and Baby Girl's willingness to giggle. But the one thing I noticed was how the black families ONLY responded to Baby Girl. They held her and even went to show her off to their families. I wish I could say that this is an isolated incident, but it is not. We experience this anytime we go into public with all of our children. Baby Girl is oodled over by the majority of the black people we encounter, while those same people outright ignore our other four.
It almost makes me feel as if black people see her with us then assume that we could not possibly be giving her the attention she needs, so THEY must fill in that gap.
I wish I could say that I'm being overly dramatic, but I'm not. Luke has noticed this pattern as well. Please do not mistake me for saying that ALL black people are acting in this manner. I am simply recounting OUR experiences over the past few months and the notice we've taken. I can assure you that there have been a few times that black people have loved on and considered all of our children in their interactions with us. I pray that you do not read this as racism, because that is not my intent. I just find it intriguing (and yes, frustrating) that sometimes our other children are flat out ignored when Baby Girl gets the sole attention from another person with black skin.
I'd love your input and/or comments, especially those of you with multi-racial families. Am I being too sensitive? Please remember, let's make this a respectable discussion.