Did you read this post and this post and this post?
If so, I feel like I need to clear the air a bit. I know that several people who actually know us IRL (in real life) read my blog. I also know that, of those people who know us IRL, some are shocked by what I'm saying here about the direction and future of our family.
But I'm going to be very honest here. I don't know why it's so shocking.
For the life of me I can't figure out why the possibility of us moving somewhere that the Lord is leading us to is shocking. Truly, if you've been reading here for any amount of time or if you've pilfered (wow, that really is a word?) through my archives at all, you would (hopefully) see that we are trying desperately to obey and follow the Jesus that we proclaim to love. And, if you DO know us IRL I'd hope that when you see our actions that they would be consistent with what my words on this screen are saying.
Do we mess up? Yes.
Do we slip and fall and make huge mistakes? Absolutely.
If you know us intimately, do we often say or do things that aren't like Jesus? Without a doubt.
Truthfully, we've never claimed perfection. I pray that we've never come across as "holier than thou" in our interactions or, even more, hypocritical. If you've known us for any length of time, I sincerely hope that you've seen us change. I hope you've seen a dramatic change in our words, in our actions and in our lifestyle.
But, even with those changes we are still going to make mistakes. Despite trying to live in obedience to God, despite trying to allow His Holy Spirit to work within us to make life altering changes, we will still falter.
If we never failed or made mistakes (or never admitted to them anyway) then we would be claiming perfection. And claiming such would be in direct opposition of what we know to be true. Only One was perfect. Only One lived a blameless life.
He is the reason we are choosing to live this life filled with uncertainty and craziness. Only because of Him and the dramatic life changes He has performed within us are we willing to abandon the normalcy of our culture and cling to the words that He left for us to follow.
No, we are certainly not perfect nor do we have it all figured out.
In this post I said that we had a burden for Africa and her hurting children. In that same post, I said that we were feeling called to missions. But if you will also recall with me, I also told you of my ultimate fear. I told you "I was afraid that I'd say something then it would never come to pass and then I'd look like a stupid Christian who blindly follows some pie-in-the-sky God who really doesn't speak to people."
I'm still afraid of that. What if I mess this up? What if I do this God thing wrong and no one ever comes to know the Lord through my life? But then, not too long ago, I realized something.
I'm not that important.
Sure God can use me to accomplish His purposes but He doesn't have to.
So now, instead of living afraid of getting God wrong, I'm even more afraid of not testing and discerning the will of God. I'm even more afraid of not seeking God's call on our lives and instead conforming to the way the world looks. (Romans 12:2)
So, that is what we are attempting to do. We are attempting to test and discern God's will for our family. So far, He is pressing missions on our hearts. He is pressing Africa on our hearts. For just under 4 years now, He has been pressing those things upon us and we've been turning to the left and right, blinded to Him in that area.
That's all we know.
As of today, we have no plans to move to Africa. As of today, we are renting a house, living debt free so that when God tells us to do His work, we can. As of today, I am focusing on my children, focusing on God's word and seeing the ways that I stumble in both of those areas each and every day.
Yes, we have applied for passports. Yes, we are planning on making a trip to Kenya at some point in the next year.
But that's it. That's all we know. And if I've learned anything during my short walk with the Lord, it is certainly Proverbs 16:9 which says, "The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps."
So we plan. We make decisions for our family that we see aligning with where God is leading (and with Scripture). We think and act on what we feel God is pressing on our hearts. But ultimately the Lord will establish our steps. Ultimately, we could feel led somewhere and God could make it very clear that we've missed the mark. And, I fully expect that to happen at some point. After all, how can a creation expect to fully understand the desires of the creator?
We do not desire to hurt our family and friends' feelings. We do not desire to abandon the people we love the most just because it seems like fun (and no, moving far away from family - if that's God's desires - does not feel fun). But, I cannot find Scripture that supports living a comfortable life just because we can. I cannot find Scripture that says being a follower of Jesus is easy and comfortable and we should just accept it as such and live life going to church on Sunday and making sure we don't cuss too much. I cannot find Scripture that tells us to wait until our children are older before we begin to obey.
The Bible I read says to love the Lord above all else. It says to forsake all things to follow Him. And yes, that's a tough pill to swallow.
Finally, I'd like to add, that what looks like obedience for us may not be what is obedient for you. Just because God called us to have all these kids, doesn't mean that it's your calling. Just because God is making our hearts burdened for missions doesn't mean YOU should become a missionary (but you should support missions - but that's another post for another day). What I will challenge you with is this:
If you are a believer in the risen Savior Jesus, if you truly believe that one Man lived blamelessly, died shamefully and paid the ransom for your sinful life so that you could one day stand in the throne room of God completely debt free, then you should be willing to live a life sold out for Jesus. Your life should look so radically different from the world that others are looking at YOU saying, "What the crap?! Why would you do that?!"
If such is not the case, I challenge you to examine your own heart. Read God's word and back through old journals. Seek what the Lord has been placing before you time and time and time again and realize that it is entirely possible that He is calling you out of your comfort zone. He is calling you to live a life that looks drastically different from the world. And, quite possibly, it will be a life you are afraid of, never dreamed of and cannot do on your own (thus giving Him the opportunity to perform a miracle, right before your eyes).
But, what I can promise you is that missing out on the blessings of your Father through unfaithful disobedience will be the 2nd biggest mistake you will ever make. The first being the choice to turn from Him, while His hands sit open, waiting on you to take up your ransom for your very own life.
PS: If you know us IRL (or even if you don't!) and have questions about why we feel led to the things that we do, PLEASE ASK. We'd love to share with you how amazing God is and how incredibly blessed we are.
If so, I feel like I need to clear the air a bit. I know that several people who actually know us IRL (in real life) read my blog. I also know that, of those people who know us IRL, some are shocked by what I'm saying here about the direction and future of our family.
But I'm going to be very honest here. I don't know why it's so shocking.
For the life of me I can't figure out why the possibility of us moving somewhere that the Lord is leading us to is shocking. Truly, if you've been reading here for any amount of time or if you've pilfered (wow, that really is a word?) through my archives at all, you would (hopefully) see that we are trying desperately to obey and follow the Jesus that we proclaim to love. And, if you DO know us IRL I'd hope that when you see our actions that they would be consistent with what my words on this screen are saying.
Do we mess up? Yes.
Do we slip and fall and make huge mistakes? Absolutely.
If you know us intimately, do we often say or do things that aren't like Jesus? Without a doubt.
Truthfully, we've never claimed perfection. I pray that we've never come across as "holier than thou" in our interactions or, even more, hypocritical. If you've known us for any length of time, I sincerely hope that you've seen us change. I hope you've seen a dramatic change in our words, in our actions and in our lifestyle.
But, even with those changes we are still going to make mistakes. Despite trying to live in obedience to God, despite trying to allow His Holy Spirit to work within us to make life altering changes, we will still falter.
If we never failed or made mistakes (or never admitted to them anyway) then we would be claiming perfection. And claiming such would be in direct opposition of what we know to be true. Only One was perfect. Only One lived a blameless life.
He is the reason we are choosing to live this life filled with uncertainty and craziness. Only because of Him and the dramatic life changes He has performed within us are we willing to abandon the normalcy of our culture and cling to the words that He left for us to follow.
No, we are certainly not perfect nor do we have it all figured out.
In this post I said that we had a burden for Africa and her hurting children. In that same post, I said that we were feeling called to missions. But if you will also recall with me, I also told you of my ultimate fear. I told you "I was afraid that I'd say something then it would never come to pass and then I'd look like a stupid Christian who blindly follows some pie-in-the-sky God who really doesn't speak to people."
I'm still afraid of that. What if I mess this up? What if I do this God thing wrong and no one ever comes to know the Lord through my life? But then, not too long ago, I realized something.
I'm not that important.
Sure God can use me to accomplish His purposes but He doesn't have to.
So now, instead of living afraid of getting God wrong, I'm even more afraid of not testing and discerning the will of God. I'm even more afraid of not seeking God's call on our lives and instead conforming to the way the world looks. (Romans 12:2)
So, that is what we are attempting to do. We are attempting to test and discern God's will for our family. So far, He is pressing missions on our hearts. He is pressing Africa on our hearts. For just under 4 years now, He has been pressing those things upon us and we've been turning to the left and right, blinded to Him in that area.
That's all we know.
As of today, we have no plans to move to Africa. As of today, we are renting a house, living debt free so that when God tells us to do His work, we can. As of today, I am focusing on my children, focusing on God's word and seeing the ways that I stumble in both of those areas each and every day.
Yes, we have applied for passports. Yes, we are planning on making a trip to Kenya at some point in the next year.
But that's it. That's all we know. And if I've learned anything during my short walk with the Lord, it is certainly Proverbs 16:9 which says, "The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps."
So we plan. We make decisions for our family that we see aligning with where God is leading (and with Scripture). We think and act on what we feel God is pressing on our hearts. But ultimately the Lord will establish our steps. Ultimately, we could feel led somewhere and God could make it very clear that we've missed the mark. And, I fully expect that to happen at some point. After all, how can a creation expect to fully understand the desires of the creator?
We do not desire to hurt our family and friends' feelings. We do not desire to abandon the people we love the most just because it seems like fun (and no, moving far away from family - if that's God's desires - does not feel fun). But, I cannot find Scripture that supports living a comfortable life just because we can. I cannot find Scripture that says being a follower of Jesus is easy and comfortable and we should just accept it as such and live life going to church on Sunday and making sure we don't cuss too much. I cannot find Scripture that tells us to wait until our children are older before we begin to obey.
The Bible I read says to love the Lord above all else. It says to forsake all things to follow Him. And yes, that's a tough pill to swallow.
Finally, I'd like to add, that what looks like obedience for us may not be what is obedient for you. Just because God called us to have all these kids, doesn't mean that it's your calling. Just because God is making our hearts burdened for missions doesn't mean YOU should become a missionary (but you should support missions - but that's another post for another day). What I will challenge you with is this:
If you are a believer in the risen Savior Jesus, if you truly believe that one Man lived blamelessly, died shamefully and paid the ransom for your sinful life so that you could one day stand in the throne room of God completely debt free, then you should be willing to live a life sold out for Jesus. Your life should look so radically different from the world that others are looking at YOU saying, "What the crap?! Why would you do that?!"
If such is not the case, I challenge you to examine your own heart. Read God's word and back through old journals. Seek what the Lord has been placing before you time and time and time again and realize that it is entirely possible that He is calling you out of your comfort zone. He is calling you to live a life that looks drastically different from the world. And, quite possibly, it will be a life you are afraid of, never dreamed of and cannot do on your own (thus giving Him the opportunity to perform a miracle, right before your eyes).
But, what I can promise you is that missing out on the blessings of your Father through unfaithful disobedience will be the 2nd biggest mistake you will ever make. The first being the choice to turn from Him, while His hands sit open, waiting on you to take up your ransom for your very own life.
PS: If you know us IRL (or even if you don't!) and have questions about why we feel led to the things that we do, PLEASE ASK. We'd love to share with you how amazing God is and how incredibly blessed we are.