These two people are five today.
FIVE.
How in the world did that happen?
As I was cleaning out our school cabinet on Friday, I found an old prayer journal from 2005. Elizabeth was an only child and reading the words I wrote from 6 years ago I was reminded of how I felt when I found out Lucas and Ashlee were coming - as a double dose.
After seeing 2 shadowy babes with heartbeats on the ultrasound screen and subsequently sobbing in the doctors office and soaking Luke's shirt, I retreated to the car. With hands trembling, I call my BFF Amanda.
"Hello?" she answers.
Words can't be understood through the sobs and sobs and I try to tell her of the news I've just learned.
"Jess? What's wrong? Is the baby okay?" she asks urgently, herself having faced the difficulty of a miscarriage.
"No. Everything's fine," as I take deep breaths trying to gain some composure.
From somewhere deep inside me I muster a breath and say, with wails overtaking my voice once more, "Amanda.....IT'S TWINS." Anyone else walking to their car must have heard my cries.
"Twins?! Are they both okay?" she asks.
"THEY'RE FINE!! AMANDA, HOW CAN I EVER BE A MOM TO THAT MANY KIDS?!?" I wail again, then sobs overtake me and my words are drowned out.
Looking back I see now that the Lord was mocking me. Oh how the Lord has a sense of humor.
When we found out that Lucas and Ashlee were a Lucas AND an Ashlee I thought my world was over. Stupid, I know. I prayed to God often to prepare me to be a Mother to multiple young children.
The day they were born was incredible. My doctor was fabulous and so patient. Ashlee has been dramatic from the very beginning.
And with their birth came new meaning to having my "hands full."
From the start, God showed me my urgent need to depend fully on Him to parent our small army of children. I still fail pretty much every day. But each morning He reminds me that just as His mercies are fresh, as should be mine.
Five years after the birth of those precious babies, they are now big kids. We are beginning a year round schooling calendar in 2 weeks and they will officially be Kindergartners. How on Earth can that be so?
Ashlee is the most loving child I've ever met. I'm not just saying that because she's mine either. Okay, maybe I am partial but she really is. But she is quick to offer comfort to others, especially her younger siblings. She's eager to have her second choice if she knows it will make someone else happy. She's caring and affectionate and loves her baby sister Ella so much that I'm sure she's her #1 fan.
Ashlee is still the eldest drama queen in our family. As quickly as she wails with hurt over a bumped knee or bruised ego, she's equally quick to recover (especially if there's food - or candy - involved). She loves to cook and be my helper in the kitchen. She's the best snuggler of everyone in the family, knowing just how to fit into the right places so it's comfortable for us both. She gives awesome kisses, is obsessed with coloring and can still beat anyone in the family in a foot race. Ashlee lives life wide open. She's loud, very silly, happy and brings excitement to our family. Kindergarten is going to suit her well because she loves learning. And, did I mention she's a little silly?
I cannot even begin to think how incomplete our family would be had the Lord not gifted us with her. Her twin brother would be lost, I think.
Lucas is the total opposite of his sister in almost every way. He loves anything that is typical boy - guns, trucks and army men. He discovered Luke's stash of vintage GI JOE men and spends 100% of his time carrying one around or requesting to trade it for a different one from the box.
His newest love is all things super hero, specifically Spiderman. He loves watching "SuperHero Squat" He is thrilled to play anything outside, loves all things Toy Story and spends quite a bit of time in the bandaid box. He's still a Momma's boy and I am soaking up the free hugs and kisses while I can, knowing that in a few short years he'll be too cool to give his Mom a kiss on the lips. It's not uncommon for him to come to me, pat me on the leg and show me his lips. After a quick smooch he will often say, "I just love you Mom."
It melts my heart each time. How could it not? He adores time with his Dad, especially when they're "fixin' stuff." He's quick tempered but quickly asks forgiveness. He wishes he could swim without floaties and ride a bike without training wheels. He's usually the 1st to go to sleep and the 1st one up in the morning. He adores his littlest sister Ella and tries to protect her from so much - even though she rarely desires to be protected. He has so many questions about who Jesus is, what He did and about salvation.
He and I certainly have a mother/son bond that is unique as we are both strong willed, headstrong people. I cannot imagine how we would have ever felt complete without Lucas in our family.
My sweet babies are growing up. I've never been one to be teary or emotional on birthdays, but I can see myself become more and more of an emotional wreck each year as the baby faces of my children change into the faces of kids, then to teens, then to adults.
Somedays I wish I could just stop the clock and savor these fleeting moments. But then I remember that with each passing year it only gets sweeter. Each year I see more of the personalities of these people the Lord has entrusted me with and I am blessed more and more by their unique quirks, characters and what makes them tick.
Happy Birthday to my double dose of blessings! I love you both so much it makes me hurt!
Happy Birthday Lucas!
Happy Birthday Ashlee!
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