The Making of M.O.M.

This morning we had an agency review for Baby D's case. An agency review is just that, a review of his case, stating the progress of the birth parents, by various people from the departments of social services. There is the G.A.L. supervisor, two other people from DSS, the social worker, us and birth parents.

However, today Baby D's birth parents did not show up. I am not totally surprised. After discussing his case, all of the DSS folk agreed that on our court date in March, it will be best for DSS to recommend TPR (Termination of Parental Rights)/Adoption as the new plan.

Naturally, it will still be up to a judge to decide the final plan.

Funny, I have no empathy for these people like I do for Baby Girl's mother. I struggle with that because I know I need to show them compassion and love. So, as March 16th draws closer, I am praying for the opportunity (and a willing heart) to show them love, compassion and a glimpse of my Savior. It will be a struggle, but if that is the Lord's desire for me, then I know I must obey.

The social worker who does Baby D's visits called bright and early this morning at 8:00am. I have come to know what an 8:00am call means. The birth parents canceled the visit...again. Since January 1st, they have canceled a total of 5 out of 7 visits (so I was off 1 on my last post...oops). For the 1st three they canceled, birth dad has a stomach virus (that spanned 1.5 weeks). Then, they canceled because it was too cold outside. Today they canceled because birth dad has strep throat.

Now, I know I'm the LAST person who needs to question anyone when it comes to being sick, but COME ON! I don't know, maybe I'm just jaded when it comes to them telling the truth. I mean, they claim they are doing EVERYTHING to get their son back, yet they CLEARLY are not. As I said in my last post, they cannot stop doing the ONE THING that brought him into DSS custody in the first place.

Also, I caught them in a lie last week (you know, when the social worker picked him for one of the two visits he's had this month). A while back at an agency review I asked them if they smoked in front of Baby D because he was coming home smelling like smoke. They assured me that they were not and even went so far as to claim that they DID NOT smoke in their house. Well, I've known this was a lie for some time now, however they have continued to claim that they do not smoke in their house. (Which I mean, WHY LIE? As long as you aren't smoking in front of him....who cares?)

At any rate, whatever I send with Baby D to visits comes home smelling like a chimney. Lately I've been sending a hand made blanket that I received as a shower gift when I had the twins. I send it because it's the heaviest blanket I have that isn't PINK. Anyway, I asked the social worker if she would please make sure that they didn't spread it out on the floor because I am having to wash it a lot and I'm afraid it will begin to wear. I asked her if she thought they smoked in their house and she said,

"I know they do. When I bring him in for his visit they move ash trays and stuff."

I just stood there, letting the new knowledge sink in, wondering why it shocked me so much. I KNEW they were lying.

This isn't the only time they've been caught in a lie, and I'm sure it won't be the last.

As I continue this journey, I never cease to be amazed at the raw emotion I feel toward these people. I know I should encounter them with grace, love and mercy but for some reason, those are not the emotions that spring forth from my heart when they come to mind.

I know at a time when my own family cannot shake a month's worth of sickness, I should not be questioning someone else's health, but it's just so stinkin' hard to believe ANYTHING they say.

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As for OUR health, Lucas spiked a pretty high fever last night, but so far Ashlee has been fever free for almost 24 hours. Yay! Of course, now that I say that I'm sure she will begin to puke or something else totally gross. I am feeling MUCH better (upon the advice of my Mom to start some vitamins ASAP). Thanks so much for your prayers for my family's health.

Now, if you'll just pray for my MENTAL health, I'm sure everything will work out just fine and my blood pressure will return to normal!