Read these first:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Luke came immediately to Jonesboro and arrived at my grandmother's house just after I did. I was nervous about seeing him but also relieved that he was there to provide comfort.
The next day was the visitation. It was September 10th, also Luke's birthday. I felt so guilty that Luke was spending his birthday with my family at a funeral home. He continued to insist that it was okay, and there was no where else he'd rather be. We didn't talk much, we spent a lot of time just sitting together in silence. As my family accepted visitors, my grandmother, aunt and mom endured the majority of the tragedy. They witnessed my uncle's death and my sole role was to be a support for them. Luke was my crutch, ready to catch me when I needed him most.
That night, my family sat around the living room looking at pictures and reminiscing. I looked across the room and saw Luke sitting there, talking to my cousin's husband. I had no idea why he had come. I didn't deserve his support. He had no reason to believe that we would get back together. In fact, I was still dating new guy and he knew it.
As family trickled out the door, headed toward their homes to prepare for the funeral the next day, Luke and I finally got some time alone. We talked, mostly about his new job. We made small talk about volleyball season and my senior year. Finally, he asked me,
"So are we friends now? What is going on with us?"
I didn't know what to say. Seeing him be so selfless and come to my rescue sparked a lot of old feelings. However, in the face of death a lot of feelings get sparked. I didn't want to confuse the two. We decided to just be friends. That night, I slept on the couch downstairs and Luke slept in the guest bedroom.
The next morning, I woke up to the news blaring on the TV. I opened my eyes just in time to see the second airplane crash into the World Trade Center. For our family, it was already a day of mourning. Soon, it would be the same for our country.
We went to the funeral later that morning, unsure of the state of our nation. I was scared, not only because of the hurt my family was facing, but because of the uncertainty of our nation. The funeral and afternoon was a blur. My family watched the news constantly, trying to divert themselves from the reality of my Uncle's passing. All athletic events and classes were canceled for the rest of the week. That meant, I had a few extra days in Jonesboro.
In one of those following days, Luke and I had a serious discussion about our relationship. I told him all the ways he had hurt me and in turn, he told me how I had hurt him as well. Finally, he asked me what it would take for us to be together again.
"Never speak to her again," I said. For me the solution was simple. If she was out of his life, the problem would be solved.
His reply rocked me to my core. "If that is what it takes for us to make it, I will do that for you."
I was so shocked. Never had I ever thought that he would do that for me. I had asked him that so many times and each time he had given me a reason why he could not end it with her. This time was different.
I went back to college and broke it off with new guy. Immediately, Luke and I were making trips back and forth from Batesville to Memphis. I'd go see him, he'd come see me. Things were good. He had finally sacrificed for me, for us. We might actually make it.
On December 2nd, 2001 Luke had plotted and planned and concocted an elaborate scheme with my roommates and friends. That night, at my sorority's weekly meeting, I was knocked off my feet when he presented me with the most beautiful ring I had ever seen.
He proposed and I said yes. Things were going so well. We set the date to be December of 2002. Meanwhile, something began to stir in us. We began reading our Bibles over the phone each night and praying for our future.
I wasn't a Christian, per say. I had been to church and was even baptized when I was 10. However, my life was not like that of a person who followed Christ. Nonetheless, we felt this pull. As our relationships gained strength (more than it had in the 2 years prior) we grew closer. The walls around my heart were being torn down and I was trusting him completely.
One weekend, in the Spring of 2002 I drove over to Memphis to see Luke. We had arranged for me to let myself into his apartment since he would still be at work. As I sat in the living room, watching TV, waiting on him to get home, I was blindsided.
His apartment phone rang. Since his roommate also lived there, I felt it wasn't my place to answer. As the answering machine came on, my heart, once more, dropped into my stomach.
As a familiar voice filled the rooms of his apartment, I glanced down at my engagement ring. It was her. She was calling. I don't remember what she said, but I remember the feeling. It was the feeling I got EVERY time that I heard her name. A few minutes later, I heard Luke's key turning in the door.
I looked at my ring again, wondering if this was the last time I would ever wear it.
Luke's proposal, December 2nd, 2001
Young and In L-O-V-E
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Luke came immediately to Jonesboro and arrived at my grandmother's house just after I did. I was nervous about seeing him but also relieved that he was there to provide comfort.
The next day was the visitation. It was September 10th, also Luke's birthday. I felt so guilty that Luke was spending his birthday with my family at a funeral home. He continued to insist that it was okay, and there was no where else he'd rather be. We didn't talk much, we spent a lot of time just sitting together in silence. As my family accepted visitors, my grandmother, aunt and mom endured the majority of the tragedy. They witnessed my uncle's death and my sole role was to be a support for them. Luke was my crutch, ready to catch me when I needed him most.
That night, my family sat around the living room looking at pictures and reminiscing. I looked across the room and saw Luke sitting there, talking to my cousin's husband. I had no idea why he had come. I didn't deserve his support. He had no reason to believe that we would get back together. In fact, I was still dating new guy and he knew it.
As family trickled out the door, headed toward their homes to prepare for the funeral the next day, Luke and I finally got some time alone. We talked, mostly about his new job. We made small talk about volleyball season and my senior year. Finally, he asked me,
"So are we friends now? What is going on with us?"
I didn't know what to say. Seeing him be so selfless and come to my rescue sparked a lot of old feelings. However, in the face of death a lot of feelings get sparked. I didn't want to confuse the two. We decided to just be friends. That night, I slept on the couch downstairs and Luke slept in the guest bedroom.
The next morning, I woke up to the news blaring on the TV. I opened my eyes just in time to see the second airplane crash into the World Trade Center. For our family, it was already a day of mourning. Soon, it would be the same for our country.
We went to the funeral later that morning, unsure of the state of our nation. I was scared, not only because of the hurt my family was facing, but because of the uncertainty of our nation. The funeral and afternoon was a blur. My family watched the news constantly, trying to divert themselves from the reality of my Uncle's passing. All athletic events and classes were canceled for the rest of the week. That meant, I had a few extra days in Jonesboro.
In one of those following days, Luke and I had a serious discussion about our relationship. I told him all the ways he had hurt me and in turn, he told me how I had hurt him as well. Finally, he asked me what it would take for us to be together again.
"Never speak to her again," I said. For me the solution was simple. If she was out of his life, the problem would be solved.
His reply rocked me to my core. "If that is what it takes for us to make it, I will do that for you."
I was so shocked. Never had I ever thought that he would do that for me. I had asked him that so many times and each time he had given me a reason why he could not end it with her. This time was different.
I went back to college and broke it off with new guy. Immediately, Luke and I were making trips back and forth from Batesville to Memphis. I'd go see him, he'd come see me. Things were good. He had finally sacrificed for me, for us. We might actually make it.
On December 2nd, 2001 Luke had plotted and planned and concocted an elaborate scheme with my roommates and friends. That night, at my sorority's weekly meeting, I was knocked off my feet when he presented me with the most beautiful ring I had ever seen.
He proposed and I said yes. Things were going so well. We set the date to be December of 2002. Meanwhile, something began to stir in us. We began reading our Bibles over the phone each night and praying for our future.
I wasn't a Christian, per say. I had been to church and was even baptized when I was 10. However, my life was not like that of a person who followed Christ. Nonetheless, we felt this pull. As our relationships gained strength (more than it had in the 2 years prior) we grew closer. The walls around my heart were being torn down and I was trusting him completely.
One weekend, in the Spring of 2002 I drove over to Memphis to see Luke. We had arranged for me to let myself into his apartment since he would still be at work. As I sat in the living room, watching TV, waiting on him to get home, I was blindsided.
His apartment phone rang. Since his roommate also lived there, I felt it wasn't my place to answer. As the answering machine came on, my heart, once more, dropped into my stomach.
As a familiar voice filled the rooms of his apartment, I glanced down at my engagement ring. It was her. She was calling. I don't remember what she said, but I remember the feeling. It was the feeling I got EVERY time that I heard her name. A few minutes later, I heard Luke's key turning in the door.
I looked at my ring again, wondering if this was the last time I would ever wear it.
Luke's proposal, December 2nd, 2001Young and In L-O-V-E