We were holding hands as we drove. It was date night, which is always the best night.
"You should write again," he said.
I looked at him, then turned to look out the window again. Uncertainty flooded my mind.
"I know you miss it. And, it helps you process everything in your head," he urged.
I do miss it. It does help me process.
So much has happened over the last nearly 4 years. So much pain, so much wrestling, so many thoughts, so much LIFE.
We rode in silence a while, both consumed by our thoughts.
"Just start with once a week?" His words cut the silence and I rolled them over in my mind.
Who would even read these words anymore? Is anyone still around?
I've considered those questions so many times since that date night a few months ago.
My journey back to the Lord has been grueling, and honestly it's not complete.
But, I sat in the still of our house one morning, my Bible open to Exodus and I thought (prayed?) over this blog.
Really, God. Who would even read it anyway? It's washed up, a has been blog. Everyone is gone.
It's not for them.
The first real words I've heard from the Lord in a very, very long time. So much of a whisper that I'm still considering if I heard them at all. But, it's true. This space was never for anyone else, really. I mean, my arrogance enjoyed writing for an audience, but at the end of the day I wrote here because it was a place for me to post about our family, my children, our life, our journey.
So, I've updated my header, and slowly, I'll update the rest. For now, the cursor blinking, my mind equally swarming with ideas and more terrified to share them than I've ever been before.
Here I sit. I hope the words come out.
"You should write again," he said.
I looked at him, then turned to look out the window again. Uncertainty flooded my mind.
"I know you miss it. And, it helps you process everything in your head," he urged.
I do miss it. It does help me process.
So much has happened over the last nearly 4 years. So much pain, so much wrestling, so many thoughts, so much LIFE.
We rode in silence a while, both consumed by our thoughts.
"Just start with once a week?" His words cut the silence and I rolled them over in my mind.
Who would even read these words anymore? Is anyone still around?
I've considered those questions so many times since that date night a few months ago.
My journey back to the Lord has been grueling, and honestly it's not complete.
But, I sat in the still of our house one morning, my Bible open to Exodus and I thought (prayed?) over this blog.
Really, God. Who would even read it anyway? It's washed up, a has been blog. Everyone is gone.
It's not for them.
The first real words I've heard from the Lord in a very, very long time. So much of a whisper that I'm still considering if I heard them at all. But, it's true. This space was never for anyone else, really. I mean, my arrogance enjoyed writing for an audience, but at the end of the day I wrote here because it was a place for me to post about our family, my children, our life, our journey.
So, I've updated my header, and slowly, I'll update the rest. For now, the cursor blinking, my mind equally swarming with ideas and more terrified to share them than I've ever been before.
Here I sit. I hope the words come out.