These days as a Mom to littles and middles, they're hard. I'm balancing toddler butt wipes and pre-teen hormones. It's hard to not feel bogged down with the day to day and miss the joy in the trenches.
Often, I have to force myself to pause and remember that these people, they are not actually trying to make my life difficult. They are just, you know, living life. All 8 of them, being children.
Children who, if I really stop and look at them are joy-bringers.
Like today, Abigail found a fly. It had recently been swatted by yours truly and she insisted it was her "very best fray-und" and tossing it into the trash would be a pre-mature burial because "Wook Mom! He's awive and he's needing me!"
Homegirl loves flies. She squeals with delight when she sees them flying through our house. "LOOK MOM! THERE GOES MY FRIEND!"
Ew.
Anyway, recently-swatted-fly was her new love. She picked it up (gag) held it as it crawled all over her hand and she carried it everywhere for the next hour as it limped/crawled/died in her hands.
I forced myself not to vomit, and instead just sat and watched her enjoy this fly. It was the most hysterical interaction. She was stroking its wings and petting its back and telling it about how she was happy he would "fly around the house later when she went to bed."
Gag. Cringe. Ew.
I controlled my knee-jerk reaction to insist she throw it away and take a head-to-toe bath in sanitizing bleach water, and allowed joy to come into the moment.
Stress was whirling around me. Dinner needed to be made, I needed to get changed and ready to walk out the door the second Luke got home, but I stopped and soaked in her joy.
Abigail, my joy-bringer, she didn't disappoint.
An hour later, I grabbed my camera bag and headed for the door.
Ashlee, who was currently laying shoe-less and filthy across my bed said, "Can I go with you?"
It would have been so much easier to say no. So much less stress and waiting for the shoes to be found, and it would have given me some alone time before and after my photoshoot. Again, I fought the knee-jerk reaction and said, "Of course! Grab some shoes."
She was thrilled! She held my hand every chance she got and I soaked her in. I put my phone away and listened to her talk about what she got for her birthday last week and how she wished double-digits meants she could sit in the front seat and how she really, really, really loves babies. And puppies. But mostly babies.
Because 5 minutes after that, you may have to pinch their tiny heads off to just make it until bedtime.
Often, I have to force myself to pause and remember that these people, they are not actually trying to make my life difficult. They are just, you know, living life. All 8 of them, being children.
Children who, if I really stop and look at them are joy-bringers.
Like today, Abigail found a fly. It had recently been swatted by yours truly and she insisted it was her "very best fray-und" and tossing it into the trash would be a pre-mature burial because "Wook Mom! He's awive and he's needing me!"
Homegirl loves flies. She squeals with delight when she sees them flying through our house. "LOOK MOM! THERE GOES MY FRIEND!"
Ew.
Anyway, recently-swatted-fly was her new love. She picked it up (gag) held it as it crawled all over her hand and she carried it everywhere for the next hour as it limped/crawled/died in her hands.
 |
| Abigail, pictured here with the world's smalled baby frog. She found him in some pile of who-knows-what at the ballpark. She was so thrilled with her new "pet." |
Gag. Cringe. Ew.
I controlled my knee-jerk reaction to insist she throw it away and take a head-to-toe bath in sanitizing bleach water, and allowed joy to come into the moment.
Stress was whirling around me. Dinner needed to be made, I needed to get changed and ready to walk out the door the second Luke got home, but I stopped and soaked in her joy.
Abigail, my joy-bringer, she didn't disappoint.
An hour later, I grabbed my camera bag and headed for the door.
Ashlee, who was currently laying shoe-less and filthy across my bed said, "Can I go with you?"
It would have been so much easier to say no. So much less stress and waiting for the shoes to be found, and it would have given me some alone time before and after my photoshoot. Again, I fought the knee-jerk reaction and said, "Of course! Grab some shoes."
She was thrilled! She held my hand every chance she got and I soaked her in. I put my phone away and listened to her talk about what she got for her birthday last week and how she wished double-digits meants she could sit in the front seat and how she really, really, really loves babies. And puppies. But mostly babies.
She helped me wrangle a toddler and baby and our photo session was a success. We celebrated with Panera and giggles. She brought the joy, I just participated and soaked it in.
Listen, I'm not saying that every day is flowers and unicorns and rainbows. I know the days are hard. When potty-training goes awry, or when a whole container of sugar gets spilled on the floor of your freshly mopped kitchen, or maybe when instead of calmly asking for help, there are MOUTAINS OF TEARS because an earring slipped down the drain and THE WHOLE PRE-TEEN WORLD IS OVER.
Life with these people who count on you for so much is stressful. It's messy and chaotic and loud and exhausting.
But they are joy-bringers. And if you can resist the knee-jerk long enough to remember that moments of joy are sprinkled through your day and our job is just to soak them in during the tornado of madness, it makes the harder days easier.
So catch a fly, or let them run that errand with you, or sit and listen to them tell you about how many Ninja Turtles they think might be able to fit into the bathtub. Push pause on the crazy and for 5 minutes enjoy your joy-bringers tomorrow.
Because 5 minutes after that, you may have to pinch their tiny heads off to just make it until bedtime.